Blood-thristy Refelction

I got the idea from a story me and a friend are working on.

Her crimson eyes look in mine,

Our shocked expression matched,

I remove my glasses, cleaning them,

I imagine her doing the same.

Our eyes lock again,

I note her pointed teeth.

I guess I shouldn't be surprised,

I should have seen this coming.

The taste for blood,

The connection with bats,

The love of night,

The pain of sunlight,

The teeth, they were really always there,

I'd just never noticed.

Again I looked into her eyes,

Her brilliant crimson eyes,

That was new anyway,

I noted my thirst for blood.

I briefly considered the consequences for breaking my mirror,

It wouldn't make a difference anyway,

I stared again at my reflection,

Her crimson eyes glistened,

Reminding me of my thirst.

I'm a blood-sucking parasite,

And I'm thirsty...

I hunted, and feed.

I looked again at my reflection,

My eyes shown again green,

But it doesn't really change anything.

I'm a still a vampire...
 

Author's Note

ok, i like how it starts, but I don't know what else to do with it. Ideas would be helpful.

Reviews

[...]

... this sure is immensely expressive ... and considering that it was posted in august 2009 ... i think this might have gone to the next step in its evolution ... however ... here's my two cents worth since you asked for inputs ... if i were to take this as a metaphor ... something that enables a person to see the "evil" inside ... then ... in my mind ... there could be a negative spiral of events leading to self-destruction ... or a positive spiral of events leading to reconstruction ... both spirals would exhale excruciating pain ... the twist could be ... in the way the spiral is constructed ... wherever you opt to linger ... the reader will linger too ... another twist could be in the "mirror" ... again if seen as a metaphor ... then to portray the character from a different perspective ... who knows ... she could well be a self-loathing warrior who stands for everything right ... an extremely thought-provoking verse with immense potential to evolve from this brilliant opening ... in any direction that the poet deems fit ...

[Nazionale nicht Sozial]

I think this poem actually refelcts a lot about the way you think :P

[Lunar Pup]

lolz wow epic vampires :D -laughs evily-

[Skelasoldier]

I think its good the way it is