Take Me Away

Take me away

Even if for a day

To where I can hear ocean waves

And bathe in the sun

Where the sea air is clear

And problems ride the tide

Until they are unseen

The breeze plays patty cake

With my eyelashes

And the sea creatures swim

And play hide and seek with the clouds

Rain is too far too be seen

And the moon wants to play

But the sun says "NO!"

Just take me away

For a little while

Even just a day

Throw my problems in a bottle

Not even to be found

By a frolicking child on a nearby island

Take me away

I promise to come back

Maybe

Reviews

[JudyC]

And problems ride the tide
Until they are unseen
The breeze plays patty cake
With my eyelashes

There are beautiful images here which bring back my own memories of days at the beach. I can picture and sense the scenes you describe, and I like the way the poem ends with "maybe". A nice, flowing write which is a pleasure to read.

[Peacegal]

Such emotion, I love this!

[Charles D. Moorer]

"Take me away, I promise to come back, maybe" says it all. Nicely done, though a few lines need work.

[Marvin Lewis Jr.]

This feels really good.
I like the vivid imagery and the metaphors where beautiful,
one of my favorite lines was...
"The breeze plays patty cake with my eyelashes" .
I love the way that sounds and the mental picture it paints.

Brilliant write!