Correspondence

 

Matt: then don't , i'm not your mother, your a editor with deadlines , a young entrepenourial kid , beat with notions of reality, and dead set of ripping his heart out and smearing it all across the world , one sheet of news print at a time

Kevin: thats fine you silly b*****d, theres no need to bring out your lectures now

o no, well, such is the bored tantrums of an upper middle class suburban horror story in the making, a lector of rejected vex, a simeoultaneous orgasim during group sex

(don't ask)

8:35 PM

theres no need to ask, you're obviously going through your crack withdrawal delusions. It's understandable

nah, its just a symbiotic reasoning between two species of turtles, turtles with humps, turtles with bumps, and sometimes the turtle that got away. Tortise on the other hand, don't f**k with those beasts of glory, they will shove your brain into your soul and make you see death a million times over

now that, my boy, is the first thing you've said that's made sense

8:40 PM

ever

in my life

8:45 PM

amen brother

8:50 PM

Holy S**t

what

a chimpanzee just jumped through my window

alright hunter

it claimed it wad the president of the united states and demanded that i give him all of my posessions

i fought with all of my strength

shoot him in the index finger

but the b*****d had backup

backup i tell you

DON"T USE HOLLOW POINT BULLETS

f**k me

they make it stronger

he didnt have an index finger

he only had three fingers

Its hard to aim when theyre flailing around

he was screaming and throwing s**t everywhere while his henchmen grabbed me by the arms and threw me to the ground

you b*****d

then they took all of my posessions

me b*****d

you f*****g w***e

who are you calling a b*****d

its that f*****g ape's fault, not mine

do you want to try some ether

hes the one going on a rampage of terror

can you send it through the phone?

only in canada

ah f**k canada

8:55 PM

they dont have anything to offer the world except maple syrup and moose

and i can get those precious commodities from the supermarket

god damn my neck hurts

those f*****g animals stomped me on the way out

curb stomp them

hey man, they're f*****g gone now

riding off into the sunset with their loot

i'm f*****g powering this computer with some pedals, a bicycle chain, and a generator

he bit through my power supply before he left

go cry me a river

o i will f*****g cry you a river

and you'll f*****g drown in that river you lurch

hey whats the name of that jbt album you gave me

grand national

Thanks Man

yea no problem

Author's Note

Comments welcome