The Uneasy Partner

I just called you

as you like it

never knowing that

you have lost  both the ears

It is unbelievable for me

that you never cared

When the moon turns red

and the sky turns blue

Your face turns  solid rock?

all your promises flee?

I am just an ordinary mortal

never trying to fathom

the mountain how big or tall

How can I know?

At last you throw me into a free fall?

Reviews

[Liza]

interesting - the opening stanza was simple yet profound...

I just called you
as you like it
never knowing that
you have lost both the ears

- this piece represents to me of a lover expecting another to be predictable as they were in the beginning or continue to use the same stimulation for a response through the conditioning.

- this feels to me that this is a fickle lover; while their counterpart is very loyal to serve yet not valued.

[bookworm]

Your wife must adore you! So so funny! I bet you love your life...you "feel" like a happy soul to me through your words....exactly what I needed tonight. Thank you!

[Sindhuja Seshadri]

This is a very profound poem.

The first stanza says it all!

[Green Regol]

Short and sweet.

I like the metaphor "you have lost both ears."

I especially like the last stanza.

[biggerthenu]

TASTEFUL NICE RIGHT

[Juliet]

This poem is very emotional, but not wordy. I really enjoy everything about this. It's very easy to relate to since I just went through something of this sort, except I was the prick that your person would be writing to. It stings, but all art is supposed to evoke emotion whether it be happiness or guilt. Very well done. The only thing I see that could be changed would be the lack of capitalization on some lines. Otherwise, excellent.

[Ruth]

You use such wonderful imagery to get your hearts point across, beautiful! xx

[Judas Hammer]

nice work, I felt the distraction and the yearning. It like after all that its still not enough. Cool

[Just Me]

wow. Very emotional. Well done

[Audrey Howitt]

Wonderful job on this one. Withdrawal is terrible in a relationship.