Darkness

Just a little poem about my inner struggles and those I love.

My heart slows its beating

My eyes, sleep is cheating

Darkness covers my mind

Peace and rest I cannot find.

Constantly I am abused

By years of being accused.

 

I cannot satisfy.

I wonder, I surmise

How these ego drunkards

Who possess such high standards

Can worship one true Savior

Yet show horrid behavior.

 

They claim to have concern,

But  my heart they will burn.

Three years I've lived disdained.

Will God ever hear my cry?

Or my pray'r will He deny?

 

No, it's not my God's will

That my life should be ill.

All my talents wasted.

God's peace I have not tasted.

It's my fault this I concede.

Forgive me Lord this I need.

Author's Note

This is my first poem, but feed back is appreciated.

Reviews

[LSS]

Since you are my daughter, I can give you my honest opinion. But I won't! Since you are my daughter, you won't listen to my advise. So I'll give it! Your poetry is good. It is well written and you can follow the thought, as it is not esoteric nor flighty. Try to stay away from inane, vacuous, maudlin writing about 'Love', its beaten to death by these writers. Don't get caught up in those dark tone writers who only want to scare and impress themselves into thinking that they have dropped out of society and responsibility and are the only ones living on planet 'Gottit'. Last of all beware of those who feel their dirty laundry is somehow self cleaning while they vent it, they're just excited to peep into their own minds to image what they want out of life. There are a lot of good writers here, though there are many who are just horrible. I've even found some award winners who have evolved into a self perpetuating machine of 'I'm good, so the rules no longer apply to me.' Don't follow their lead. Be yourself, but always be good. Love you.
Lar (Dad)