alil not over you

for him

sand storms

over heaven

& i look over yonder

your face

stares over at me

from across the distance

i smile

because i've known

for quite a while

that i am

alil not over you

Reviews

[Shah Sabia]

Precised, and effective too.
Well done :)

[Joshua Carl Cruz]

sand storms over heaven
as i look over yonder face
staring over at me from across
the distance, i smile, because
i've known for quite awhile
that i am not over you

its a great feeling i tried to recapsulate to show you what I would change but as its not mine and i have to stay away from changing things i think its fine. good work

[FaeryQueen]

thanks................

[Jen Walters]

Another one of these cases where less is more. Very direct and to the point and your ideas are clear. Thanks for sharing such a well written and concise poem. Have a great day!