Spirals

Where?!

Where is the fiery breath I've been promised; the piercing herd of a silenced cry?! Where?!

I cannot fathom this chittering; it, like a rustling of something brisk in my ear.

It downs my doses of nightly routine and drenches it in somber approval; trudging its' stubbed feet across my scapes.

I cannot... think of anything else, in these times, I am most surely alone.

The lights are all dimmed, and there are no controls; only the burning sensation of something etching a scorch mark across my soul.

I cannot see; the cover is too tightly pulled over my eyes, encasing it in something wonderful, but not foundated in reality; something only I can dream of, something... sinister.

It all spirals out of control, originating from my ears; I do not wish to dip into your realism, so I will make up my own: so does that now mean I am trying to hide away in your eyes?

Do my attempts at makeshift realities tarnish your reputation of garnering in the free world?

Do I?

I was once held up on a balanced flat line of manys'.

There were many thoughts, many troughs, many words left unsaid that I took to heart.

I told myself they were nothing to me, but I only furbished my golden greed with more lies.

I've constructed myself fit, for only me and not you... you are less important.

You told me I would never amount to anything, and you were right; only now I see that you were.

I am not in your eyes anymore, that is why my image has fallen.

You do not believe in my goodness, you revel in my downfall.

But that is OK, I do not harbor grudges, I only keep the pain.

Pain is good, no matter where it's coming from: another growing chance that you missed in your childhood: it has come back.

But where does it stay?