baking w a community in my head

wrote this sometime ago//go

 

"baking w, a community in my head"

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-. Looking down, I see the only thing that makes sense; a stock white image of something that I’ve seen only in my dreams, why is it so hard to say that I’m unwell--....

- unlocked and uncensored, I fill my mind with words that I’ve made up all on my own... Only to find myself smiling-- why must I smile? What is wrong w me...

- I’m stuck at a default; chortling down cotton moth balls and fiery flames of that which astound me.

- I’m surrounded by an aura of treachery and denial, betrayal and the knives that are sharpened to their peaks just to stick in on the backsides' of those they've deemed worthy.

- I am a toy- you are the child... [grant] me wishes only to grant them haphazard- half blizzard- halfwit, full in.

- I fill a void in my head... The only thing I want is to hide- man the tides, I don’t want to see you, hear you, feel you; please just let me sink into this hole I’ve created for myself. I told myself I used to be handsy, that I’d never be able to control it; but look now, I’m here- and I’m healthy, controlling and controlled, you’ll never be able to see it though and that's the sad part.