the fool in me

it started with a dream, a thought that I could have something that could be mine.

a person so close that all my worries and fears would dissipate.

always believing that it would take another to make me feel free and whole.

grasping this fantasy until the bottom looked so familiar and my need for worth pushed unto that imaginary figure would consume my every existence.

how foolish of me.

how naive, how sheltered.

projecting, scapegoating, blaming...all but me, all but I was to take responsibility for these missteps.

incongruent, I am incongruent with my emotions.

marionette, I am just a marionette in this crowd. 

I just want to know why I sacrifice now as my dark puppeteer continues to play me this way?

the self hate and the self denial just keeps playing this record, the circles seem endless.

what a frenzy I wake to when I open my eyes.

the killer, the conniver is just quenching her insatiable thirst for such misery.

tragedy is potion that she delivers to me.  I drink it slowly, it's the fool in me.

Reviews

[SSSandy]

I love it, it's so descriptive. I can definitely relate and I feel your emotion through your writing.

[AKhaus]

thank you very much.