the Midnight Fairy

She flits around,

Her violet wings gently shaking gleaming dew drops off them.

Her midnight hair floats eerily behind her,

Much like a shadow.

Her bare feet skim lightly through the air,

Occasionaly touching a trace of a cobweb,

Drifting through the night.

Her vivid green eyes catch glimpse of a shimmering lake.

She floats over to it,

Watching her reflection in its still waters,

As she glides over it.

Her flowing lilac gown drifts behind her,

Seeming like an aura of beauty.

The clouds above thunder,

And raindrops tentatively start to fall.

She darts away,

And is gone.

Reviews

[Jim Clarke]

When I read this I actually felt like I could see her. Great job!

[Clouded in Hopeful Illu..]

Your imagery is very beautiful. It seems not only peaceful and tranquil in a way, but also a little uncanny because of your word choice. I enjoy how short it is and by the end I do not feel as if I have been cheated. I feel that the presence of the rain is a great way to dismiss your character and end your poem. Since your lovely faerie seems to have taken a liking to water, or perhaps just simply her reflection in it, I feel that the coming of rain was a great choice for her leaving. Clever.

My one suggestion would be at this part of your poem:

"She floats over to it,
Watching her reflection in its still waters,
As she glides over it."

I think you should get rid of the first or third line. With both of them, it is a little redundent and distracting. You have made it clear that she is floating over the water in the first sentence and do not believe it should be repeated in the third. You could replace it with something more interesting or just get rid of it all together. Maybe, upon seeing her reflection, she smiles to herself or moves her hair or something. That is my only suggestion. Of course this is your work and I hope that you will go with whatever your heart and fingers tell you to.

Good work.
Thank you for writing.

=YourMidnightSecret=

[Jetta Zippora]

It's so magical and serene! I love it!