Sickness

It comes unexpectedly

 

Rushing up like a blooming flower

 

The tingle starts in your stomach

 

Then it makes its way to your throat

 

Suddenly, out it comes

 

A waterfall of pure waste

 

Pain flows through your body

 

You ache all over

 

Feeling the sickness lingering ever so slightly

 

Afterwards...making your way to an empty bed...

 

Laying your head down on the pillow

 

Closing your eyes...

 

And the pain all fades away

 

In your dreams

Reviews

[Gary Alexander Azerier]

Hello,
With a phrase like: "it makes its way to your throat" the pain of the illness is driven home...and the feeling of illness that you wish to convey is complemented effectively.... The same for many of the other lines...so much so, I felt, that the final few arrive as a relief. If I may, I suggest finding a synonym for your second use of "tingle" since it was already used up top (even if you are referring to the same sensation in the stomach)
Best,
GA