Confessions of the Indescribable

Is it okay to confess

I have no room in this chest

Cavity for myself

Cause I keep thinking of you

And everyone else, lovers old or new

What would I do, if I was free to do as I pleased?

Free to escape

Maybe with you be?

 

 

 

What would I do if we were alone

And the glint in your eye promised to never send me home?

What would we do if we had no restraint

No chains, no limitations, no other people standing in our way?

Who would we turn to, when it fell apart?

Deep down I could see who we would, and it couldnt be eachothers hearts.

I'll blame it on that incessant love

The one that clings to my spine

I'll blame it on that scorching kiss

Every time we say our goodbyes

But most of all, I'll blame it on, the way your body makes me feel

Blame every problem you ever face

On me like you did before "we" lost our place

I'll keep it real, douse the flames, cause I cant be who that is.

I'm writing this, so you can see, who I really am.

Noone knows, me least of all, cause we couldnt pass the entrance exam.

So I'll tell you this true, even though I'd rather die than admit

That I have lots of regrets, more than I could ever permit

To explain to tell to push out of me

I wonder about people

I never got to see.

So I'll be on my own, and remember your smile

I'll look out the window, and see the colour purple

A lift of my lips, a bite of my tongue

So I'll walk down the hall, and see your memorised walk

I'll be feckless and unknowing, and feel your hands on my hips from behind

A shiver as I see the demon has won.

 

 

 

 

Look deep into my eyes now

And tell me what you see

For when I look in the mirror

An ugly girl is all the reflection could be

And theres nights I dream of you looking deep into my eyes now

And telling me you see paradise

There will be no mirrors, as we fall from our chains

We will both be beauties, in the sea of sin again

Those mornings I wake up, with a smile upon my face

And I cling to the dreamland, aching to touch your body and feel your embrace

What would you do if we were locked in a room?
Free to explore eachothers perfume

What would I do if I felt your lips and saw the glint in your eye

That told me I could wave heaven goodbye?

I'll blame it on your incessant love
The one that clings to my spine
I'll blame it on that scorching kiss

Every time we say our goodbyes

I'm writing this, so you can see, who I really am.

Noone knows, me least of all, cause we couldnt pass the entrance exam.

Won't you remember, cause I'll never forget

The taste of my tongue and the graze of your hips

I'll start to wonder how things could have been

If I didnt send that email, if I hadnt pushed you away from me

Life is hard, and some things have to be given a miss

But really and truly, things are always falling adrift.

Feelings of emptiness still never cease to exist

I blink at the ceiling in my drunken mist

My worst fear is that I'll take advantage of those frequently felt moments

Where I want him to take me, to own me, to change me

That I'll be like you, entirely someone elses with secrets to tell

The fear is overwhelming that I'll lose sight of myself

When really all I want is to be lost inside someone else

Maybe you'll look at me in my glorified crusade and proclaim you love me

In each and every way

Baby I couldn't handle that, hear me when I say, I'm nothing to love, I'm a scapegoat born and made

My fears battle with the sentences constructed, to yell and say

but I'll leave you with this; I want to be vindicated, as free as you think I am

I need something to complete me after I lost him, I can't keep living this way.

I'll blame it on your incessant love

The one that clings to my spine
Something so wrong, seemed so right

Alas, I falter; this confusion cannot go on

I'll blame it on that incessant love

The one that clings to my spine

I'll blame it on that scorching kiss

Every time we say our goodbyes

But most of all, I'll blame it on, the way your body makes me feel

Blame every problem you ever face

On me like you did before "we" lost our place

I'll keep it real, douse the flames, cause I cant be who that is.

I'm writing this, so you can see, who I really am.

Noone knows, me least of all, cause we couldnt pass the entrance exam.

Won't you remember, cause I'll never forget

Cant you see I'm a mess,
Can't you see how I'm bruised?

I will wonder always, if we'd laugh or cry in that isolated locked room
And I'll keep memories closer, than the regrets I cant forget

So don't go worrying about me, I'll fight my way out like I always do

Reinvent myself when the time calls for something fun and new

Hate me for the things I never do

hate me for every time I've ever been untrue

hate me for every single mistake I made

because honey you really wouldnt be the first

Hate me for how I could never go back to you.

Reviews

[Secondhand Tink]

6 whole months since I last read this and it still makes me feel ever so slightly sick with a long lost aching, bleeding heck.
I read some of our old conversations a few days ago. Twas quite surreal Lolz
Ahh it just reminded me of how I'll never quite have a simple quiet life XD

I'd forgotten how much I relished reading ur poetry :))

Love ya lots.

[Secondhand Tink]

I can't say anymore than what I did in the myspace message about how that made me feel...I feel drained from it, and not just coz the blood drained from my face.

It was just too incredible for words, my words would do it no justice..

I just love it.

I just love you.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

[Spilled Her Guts in Cur..]

You're beyond amazing. This gave me chills, every last line. =]