Compared to You

Compared to you, a rose is pale

In beauty and in grace.

For every day we are apart

I long for your embrace.

 

Compared to you, a rose is dull

In wonder and in shine.

For every night we sleep apart

I dream of your divine.

 

Author's Note

Critique, criticize, advise! Tell me what you think! :D

Reviews

[Decanter Red]

Oh no! I love the ryhme (did I spell it right?)! Not to mention the rosy red font colour. I do pay attention to the presentation or neatness of works posted online so I'm going to give you kudos for this! The last sentence:

I dream of your divine.

It makes a beautiful conclusion. Short, honeyed and rosy. 100/100! I think your sweetheart would melt if he got this from you in a scented rose paper. ;)

[Distant horizons]

I love it. Sometimes we get too caught up in making verse epic by adding and continuing for too long, when what you have written here has impact, precision and a beautiful sense of almost loss in missing someone. Beautifully done.

[TheKaylaPup]

It's very short. It doesn't seem complete.

[Kaitlyn]

I'll try to work on a longer version of it. No promises, though. :)