Need to Get it Off my Chest

A poem about issues I really need to get off of my chest.

I remember when you left me,

and I was scared and lost;

so confused and alone,

I dug my nails into love, no matter the cost.

And I had no idea how to act, how to live,

how to feel.

I spent so much time living my life

"content" and unreal.

But when you were gone,

when you left me that way,

bleeding and drunk

and all disarrayed

there was no way I could pretend,

no way I could act

like this never happened,

like it was false and not fact.

And I walked for months in a fog

of insecurity and fear,

even though you were miles away in prison

I was terrified, still felt like you were near.

I couldn't sleep, just laid there,

still fully concious and aware,

I didn't know how to relax,

frozen in a contast state of fear.

Every accident or mishap

I heard your voice in my mind

calling me every dirty name in the book

stealing my reality, my peace of mind

and now that it's been over a year

I'm still not healed.

I still feel broken and confused,

fearful and unreal.

I wonder, I ask questions

that I can never answer

because I was drunk and blacked out

and you're dead from suicide after.

And so I'm stuck here with unknowns,

with mysteries and thrillers,

your dead yet still

you're somehow my killer.

Reviews

[Laura Maidah]

Solidifying "love" by digging nails into it? Very clever twist. Nice and dirty. One marginal issue is "disarrayed". Maybe "in disarray" so the verb tense isn't awkward. Great motif!

[koty bell]

excellent write:)

[Balance]

Very nice piece of work, i like how you put out the emotions. Its really sad and emotional. Thats great!!

I like the fact that you manegd to go through a lot of dark issues and history in a kinda short poem. Good job!

[C.]

This really almost made me cry. I absolutely loved everything about this. You are a really great writer ~ I've only read this one poem by you, haha. But, I know that it's true. I know talent when I see it c: Keep writing; you're awesome.

[Emrys Realmskip]

Very raw emotions here , The ending line is my favorite. =) Wonderful Poem!

[writing mojo]

interesting flow of and in the hot blood of this poem, which laps you in and carries you through tears left on a cheek not ready to turn..yet shows internal combustion of what is left puddled when pain makes you leak...good stuff

[Javan]

I like this! I love the darkness to it... It's kinda... Real, like you really put your emotions into this...

I like the way it ends too... Awesome!