Reality VS Fiction

Modeled on a past relationship

He is thin, average height, handsome

ugly, evil, and perverse ,

dazzling smile as he catches your eye,

even from across the room,

and you know he can make you feel whole

only to leave your heart in pieces.

And as he gets up, perculiar outfit showing,

fingernails polished on light-skinned hand

as he raises it to wave, beginning

a tragic, dramatic, painful

beautiful, loving, amazing

relationship ending in learned lessons

bandaged stitches, and deeply set wounds

that will never heal.

And when he comes over to ask you to dance

you feel entitled, special, and rosy

But it's too bad you won't leave

ending that way.

 

Author's Note

Tell me what you think.

Reviews

[Alicia Beavis]

"peices" should be "pieces"

Inventive way of writing. Crossing out the lines was clever and when you combine that with the rest of the poem, it makes for a great read.

[Cameron]

The crossed out sections only draw the eyes to what seems to be the truth that much more. I applaud your creativity.

[nigrum homonculus]

damn that was good! loved how you blotted out the bad parts. made the message that much powerful. well done!

[Paul R. Watson]

Solid poem! love the incorperation of the lines and how concise it feels. Its really good

[OctoberDawn]

I really like this idea, it's very innovative and original. Also your word choice shows strong emotion and paints a very vivid picture of a painful time.

[Emrys Realmskip]

I love thsi! :)
Great job! :)