Social Disorder

Longingly looking out through the pane,

the rain has fallen, not another drip.

A snip of a string from cloud to ground,

yet bound am I to my leather seat.

The pounding of precipitation lingers in my ears.

I peer out at the new light with a grudge.

The rain my reason for avoiding proffered hands,

but sans the drear, what will the excuse be?

A black bell jar keeps my spark from igniting;

No matter how inviting the sun may be,

their curiosity keeps my familiar seat warm.

They swarm all over like bees on attack. 

One breaks away; my eyes circle with his flight.

From right and around, he lands at my door.

The ding of my doorbell zaps a shudder down my spine;

the blinds free-fall like an elevator plunging to its death.

Silent and shaking, I hold my breath and close my eyes

'til the ringing dies; I push up a slat and peek.

Feathers flutter just outside my window, mocking me.

These insecurities control my every move, day to day.

Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow will come,

but the sun will shine without me; never see my face.

This petty pace of life inside these four blank walls

creeps and crawls to the last syllable of time.

 

Author's Note

allusions to To Kill a Mockingbird (because of Boo Radley shut up inside his home), MacBeth (paranoia that everyone is out to get him), and The Bell Jar (depression)

Reviews

[Carrie Montgomery]

wow! I think this is maybe your best yet...not only are these "allusions" to what you mentioned, but you have captured quite skillfully, the REAL feelings of a shut-in: a paranoia, a manic depressive, an obbessive compulsive, or perhaps simply someone wishing to be left alone wi/ some form of grief or other. Wonderfully done!
1st line is AMAZING...immediately gives a powerful melancholy/dreadful feel.
"I peer out at the new light with a grudge" yes ! How dare the sun shine on your depression parade?!? That hateful bright cheery sun, trying to take away the very shadows we sometimes need for hiding and dwelling and wallowing in our dark feelings. Great job: easy to relate to. Easy to read w/o being "simple" implies much to the reader's imagination!

[Angelheaded Hipster]

I like this write, and I caught the allusions before I got to the bottom. I like the idea of this, and a lot of people could relate to this. I wouldnt call it a petty life....if one is trapped...then one is trapped.

[deeps]

This is powerful as well as deep. I like this, I thought it was written very wonderful!

[Nely Amorim]

this is deep and powerful, seems to describe an agoraphobic (sp) to me, it definitely weaved a spell, easy to follow and excellent read :)

[shane]

i like this, i can relate to some of it too,
this really is a great piece, sorry i'm not the best reviewer
shane :)

[the nothing]

exelent write I love how bring 3 different writings togeter to form your own unike style butI can't judge
I can't spell

[Joel Alvarado]

Well you certainly did an excellent job of getting those emotions across in this piece. It did kind of seem segmented to show each emotion but the story stayed solid throughout the piece and guided the reader nicely. Very enjoyable!

[Michael Lopez]

this is really great...the walls are closing in on me...good imagery as well...I felt like i was this person,locking myself inside my head...viewing the outside while inside...the ending was great
i really enjoyed this..since im always inside myself, im pretty pale..I like it that way.

[SM Davis]

Life is what it is. No yesterday, never tomorrow...only today. This was a good write.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

Very creepy and mesmerizing write... great description of how our own human psyche can be own own worst enemy.