She and I

What you see in the mirror....

A look, a glance, life is full of inglorious happenstance

Oh, how slowly we have progressed

The painstaking time it took me to for forgive

I can’t fathom how long it will take to forget

 

God knows I’ve waited patiently for your love

But from deep within my heart the truth must part

You don’t want to be seen with me!

It’s a prodigal paradox that exists sourly within us

 

I want you

But I don’t

I keep thinking if I’m strong enough, thin enough or kind enough

Then you’ll finally love me

 

In case it’s not clear the battle I face is in the mirror

I stare at her every day

Sometimes for seconds

Sometimes for hours

 

Yet, she and I are not the same

Our reflection cast ripples upon the glass

I may see myself in the mirror

But she is always lurking in my shadow.

 

Where do our paths become one?

Shouldn’t they always be the same?

I cry for answers but it’s an attempt made in vane

She only stares back at me with beady eyed hate

 

An image frozen in time

A fat, dull girl, trapped in the mirror

She will never be the vibrant woman that I am

So WHY CAN’T I BREAK HER?

 

Because I can’t undo the past

She is made up of images plucked from my past and frozen in time

While I live in the present and yearn for what is yet to come

Parallel lives, the same, but never one.

 

She will never love me because I have all she never did

And I will always hate her because she is the darkness I cannot dissipate

And yet we are the same

She is the girl I use to be

 

And I am the woman she will never be

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. Reviews are appreciated!

Reviews

[Kaylor Mason]

Wow . . . it might surprise you to know men go through this as well . . . I can relate completely, even though I'm a guy . . . the person I am now is nothing like the person I was as a youth, and it's always hard when people look at me and speak to me and they assume I had a much better, more exciting life than I really did. Then the hard part is talking my way out of it and dousing their fires without looking like a fool; it's never easy. Thank you for this poem

[Kaylor Mason]

And yes, I have a LOT of issues with my past self and present self, and how they clash; it's a major theme in my work . . . at least my future self only comes knocking in dreams a few times--I couldn't handle facing that one

[Kristin Lee]

No surprise at all. I have a figure in my life who has constantly struggled with his own body image issues. I am certain that his idiocincracies (sp) are where I gained mine from. Thank you for sharing that with me. It's important for people to understand that this issue crosses genders and time.

[Sami Khalil]

"Yet, she and I are not the same
Our reflection cast ripples upon the glass
I may see myself in the mirror
But she is always lurking in my shadow.

Where do our paths become one?"
Wow. You are growing as a poetess by leaps and bounds for you are penning amazing writes on the self and its struggle and the images that conflict with our minds and souls. Also about life's paradoxes. Very good subject matters and you have tackled it...:)

[Kristin Lee]

Thank you Sami, as always, for your kind words :)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure. Any time...:)

[shivohumsohum]

Caught between the Scylla and the Charybdis
is a reflection between mirrors leading to and emerging from different dimensions
one emits protection other vomits crime
a crime almost forgivable but protection is sublime
a break for the struggling, a struggle about to break
a paradoxical parody in pandemonium to make

Coming to terms,
building new homes,


The making of a woman who loves to sing Bryan Adams
and strikes down the bad ones like in Indiana Jones.

[Kristin Lee]

Idiana Jones and Bryan Adams??? I'll take it :) Thank you

[shivohumsohum]

ok lol