Awakening

Greeted by the breaking dawn

Dogged, eager, greedy in its persistence

Its touch is radiant, bright, deliciously unadulterated

            -This is an awakening

 

Hear the wild cries of an untamed soul

As it seeks safe passage through rocky shoals

Never asking, yet with stoic grace

- Always knowing the way

 

With eyes wide open the bow plunges into uncharted waters

As Captain of this mighty vessel I swear, I will not falter

Thick layers of salt may corrode tender flesh, but I can see

-Nothing lasts forever

 

Sweet, hot breath rife with life passes Heavens lips

Peeling back my hearts cocoon leaving me exposed

I am a petulant pearl of innocence

            -Fresh as the day I was born

Author's Note

Experimental piece all the way around. Thoughts are welcome.

Reviews

[A. Amos]

Brilliant you take in your world and your reader just imagine things you write. Congrats.

[icelandicblue]

As Captain of this mighty vessel I swear, I will not falter feels so very classic. And I am a petulant pearl of innocence feels so very modern. I love the blending of moods in this piece. It is a fabulous piece of poetry. I apologize for not dropping by sooner Kristen, I miss your work.

[4$H]

I wonder, if this is experimental, what will be a rehearsed piece? :O
Mind=Blown.
B|

[Traci]

Welcome back, my friend. I love this experimental piece. Great imagery and such a passionate write.

"I am a petulant pearl of innocence
-Fresh as the day I was born"

Love this line....well done, Kristin.

[ayosonolowo]

Intersting to read, i really like it.

[Rita L. Sev]

As Captain of this mighty vessel I swear, I will not falter...

Very empowering line in this poem; strong imagery, and good form.

[Jack...]

Very cool, I like how you have the verses broken up by a themed definition. Nicely done. It feels very smooth to me and your phrasing is stunning.

[Frieda P]

Light dances from your poetry here Krisitn, if it's an experiment, it works quite nicely, your italicized words could be a poem in and of themselves. Brilliant write, I enjoyed this one.

[Sami Khalil]

"Sweet, hot breath rife with life passes Heavens lips

Peeling back my hearts cocoon leaving me exposed

I am a petulant pearl of innocence

-Fresh as the day I was born"
Wow. A very good poem on the subject of awekening. The thoughts and imagery are all wonderful and that ending was my favorite...Splendid...:)

[Astro]

Wow, welcome back my friend. This is great, experimental or written in passionate truth. The lines flow with great spirit dancing like the "untamed soul" of your words. You may not journey into these literary waters often, but you have shown yourself to be a worthy captain who's ship will form creases in the lines about the eyes and lips of those who read your work. Great stuff Kristen.