Isolation

Friendship? Or isolation?

I resolved to change. I did.
I've always lacked self-control.

You know, I wish someone knew me like you do.
Someone I always saw.

I've never really seen you.

You could be a fairy tale for all I know.
A myth.
A bedtime story.
A fake. Not real.

Gosh, I hope not.

You consume my thoughts and I've fallen in...
In what, I wonder?
In love?
In obsession?
Into a carefree story?
Into a world where I can be myself without caring what other people think?

I really hope you're real.
I really hope we can meet one day.

...I really hope that I would wake up from this nightmare...
This nightmare where you are isolating me from everything around me.
I feel trapped, but at the same time, carefree...

I resolved to change, but I lack self-control...
...And this is where it's led me.

Author's Note

I wrote this years ago in reference to a guy I had developed an online friendship with. At the time, I found myself rushing to my computer to chat with this guy I had never even video-chatted with, much less met in person, so for all I knew, he could've been anyone besides whoever I thought he was through our messages. I came to realize how unhealthy my slight obsession with him was (it seemed as though I staked a lot of social interaction and emotional support on this dude, yikes) and wrote this poem about it to organize my thoughts/feelings.

I revamped it slightly just by throwing in more line breaks (it originally had no line breaks, so it was just a huge chunk of angsty teen poetry HAHA) for better readability and hopefully impact.

Let me know what y'all think! :)

Reviews

[mou]

it is awesome!
a beautiful sound from a heart.i read a lot of poems about love and all in this writers cafe.but here for the first time i found a feelings without any constraint or complain for the loved one.And which should be!
thanks for sharing.

[kristollini]

Thank you so much!! I'm honored to have written a poem that speaks to you :D Yes, this was very much a poem that came from my own thought processes of the situation and trying I figure out my own feelings through writing! Thank you for the read/review! :)

[mou]

You are welcome :)

[Antoñyo]

A heartfelt, openly raw piece many can relate to...written in words they'd use, too!
Good capture.
Thanks for sharing

[kristollini]

Thank you so much!! I apparently channeled my teenage angst into writing XD Thank you for the read/review :)

[Antoñyo]

You're welcome...keep writing