Endangered Species

It's all about Pandas

Panda Bears,

Black and white all over,

such beatutiful creatures.

So calm and lovely.

But they aren't really bears are they,

out of all the bears,

they aren't one.

It's a mistake. 

They aren't really bears,

bears are scavengers.

These calm and docile creatures,

eat plants mainly bamboo.

They don't scavenge around,

like any other bear I know.

They find what they need from plants,

so therefore they aren't bears

Reviews

[ANTO]

Krista - this is a very logical argument and it makes the reader think about the subject in a new way. To further illustrate Trigorins point, I think that this piece of writing would be transformed into poetry in the general sense if it were more song-like. You could pepper it with similes (e.g. The Panda stares at you like a comedy burglar though a black mask - I included 'comedy' to induce empathy which is where I think you wanted to go with the piece) and metaphors (e.g. the Panda species ride the kaboose of catastrophe, hurtling towards extinction) and colorful imagery (e.g. The Pandas wrenches a bamboo stalk from the soil with a mighty 'CRACK!' with one hand, while in the other cupped hand a baby panda rests aagainst the mothers chest)

Poetry is a learning experience Krista and it will become in time, its own reward.
Take Care - and keep writing...
X

[Trigorin]

Well, yes, that's true. But you seem to have ignored what is really the point of poetry, the use of heightened imagery and metaphorical language. This sort of information could have just as easily been found in an encyclopedia, and this is about as bland and dry as that encyclopedia entry would be.

[Krista]

I was given a topic and had to write on it. I don't do my best when it comes to a given topic but I always try to.