WAR IN PEACE

01 17 11

A landscape baking
in black war's sauna
may as well be left alone
for there is nothing to confirm
in smoke but shadows

The clear aftermath
offers clear human forms
some solid enough for statistics
some liquefied enough to suggest
a cemetery is in fact
a flesh garden

Numb  to sense
they may very well be
yet they snuff out the silence
so unbearably abstract
in the wake of authorized
pandemonium
replacing it with a moral
in the ringing ears of those
arriving to assess

After the advance and retreat
there is still a landscape
for a general to ride
a lofty tank into and lament
as an emperor did
on a compensating horse
so many green advances before

Author's Note

-Something for Remembrance Day in Canada and Veterans' Day in the U.S.

-A few years ago I decided I was going to read War And Peace...
just so I could say I did it. I hated most of it but I got it done.

Reviews

[The Random Writings Of ..]

The first two stanza's of this piece are so powerful you can smell the imagery that is being set up for the piece.
"The clear aftermath
offers clear human forms
some solid enough for statistics
some liquefied enough to suggest
a cemetery is in fact
a flesh garden"
The use of the word liquefied - dominates the sentence and flows to the flesh garden. It gives me tingles... I have goose bumps!!!
The descriptions moving forward are a tale of the aftermath - an awakening of what was - flowing nicely together.
After the first two stanza's the rest of the piece winds down to end I would say on a more peaceful note.
You always surprise me my friend. I don't think I have ever read anyone's work who is as diversified as yours :) When I get your read requests, it's like a box of chocolates, I never know what I am going to get! I love every piece of chocolate!
Oh I have to comment on your authors note - the fact that you read War and Peace just so you could say you did - and hated it, but got though it, brought a smile to my face! To cute!

[kublakhan27]

Wow, I don't think I've ever gotten an endorsement of that magnitude before :) Thank you Kate...that means a lot...I just hope I can continue to surprise you :)

This one got a LOT of tinkering before I was able to capture that progression you speak of lol And yes, I'm thankful that all novels aren't that long...it was certainly it's 200-some-odd pages of history that inspired this and not the 900-some-odd pages of soap operas :D

[The Random Writings Of Me..Kates]

Lol I hear that! You have great work, and I don't think your surprises will cease! Keep writing! I can't wait to see what's next :)

[kublakhan27]

lol thanks again Kate, I can't wait myself ;)

[Seyi Ojenike]

Awesome

[kublakhan27]

Thank you^^

[AK]

Brilliant poem! It is so well written and has a great and unique word choice. Keep writing!

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much :)

[AK]

Anytime:)

[afra]

great write .....i loved it ....well done ...hope to see more

[kublakhan27]

Thank you Afra...hoping to retrieve my literary mojo sooner than later :P

[∠( ᐛ 」..]

This is amazing and inspiring!
Outstanding work!
100/100

[kublakhan27]

Thank you so much :)

[Ufi Auttorri ~ Amy C. T..]

A dense cloud of shrapnel, this. I think I can sense some of the things that appall you about the topic but your impressions seem second hand at best. God forbid you ever have any first-person experiences. Nonetheless, it's a worthy basket of mixed-metaphoric prose. "I Write Like" says this piece has characteristics similar to the work of H. P. Lovecraft. I don't think you've slipped into quite that dark a place (yet).

[kublakhan27]

I've read a bit of Lovecraft but it's been a while...I was still trudging through the novel when I started this, and it took a lot of crinkled paper to get to the version that appears here...thankfully neither Tolstoy nor Napoleon is in my head any longer cuz I'd probably be well-established in the darkness by now :P

[Kenneth The Poet]

War Pigs...need more be said.

[kublakhan27]

Haha nope that says it all I think.

[quixotic_rose]

this just relates to my day today haha, that's so uncanny! loved the imagery your words create. very descriptive and assessing. a battle is a battle is a WAR. bring it on, is what I say. rightly done here ol' chap :)

[kublakhan27]

Haha I guess I've tapped into something in the midst of your current trials :) For some reason, I was never really sure about this one, but your review and a few others have eased my uncertainties lol Glad you like it :D

[quixotic_rose]

you have! its like you just know what to say haha

[kublakhan27]

Haha maybe, but if so, it's only on paper, and only once in a while...and I haven't had one of those once-in-a-whiles in a good while now :P

[quixotic_rose]

maybe you need one of those once in a whiles again haha

[kublakhan27]

Oh I definitely need it cuz I get a bit loopy if I go too long without writing, and it was a loopy weekend lol :P

[quixotic_rose]

lol sounds loopalicious!

[demureminds]

Profound use of language & vocabulary! The imagery was also very well portrayed. Great work! (:

[kublakhan27]

Thanks so much :)

[Admiral Kirk]

Clever title, my friend... This is a really powerful piece, and I think you really bring this topic out, front and center. Great way to celebrate Remembrance/Veteran's Day. You use some really deep, dark metaphors here... Excellent work. The title is a story on its own. Awesome.

[kublakhan27]

Thank you so much^^

[Admiral Kirk]

You're very welcome. :)

[tekphobik]

Not going to lie, I had a dark chuckle at:

"a cemetery is in fact
a flesh garden"

[kublakhan27]

haha cool