Not what i wanted

Dear Syana,

im suppose to start over by first loving my self. 

why am i doing this to myself. i fell in love once and im never going back. my heart cant take any more attacks.  i never want to love and i mean never, so why does it feel like this. i look at her and i feel. you were pose to help me. block all that there was, but you let her come in and now i love. my eyes are now wet and for why, is it because i cry because she cries, she loves someone else, that i feel does not deserve it, and her heart is broken, i want to preserve it. she hurts as i do myself, so why do i love, when im hurt by someone else. there's a reason for everything, i chose to believe, that i grieve to be loved and she beloved to grieve.

sincerely 

     Kyebri