Became me

I fought so hard. I wrestled my demons. I battled my fears, calmed my insecurities, silenced my doubts and became who I always desired to be. I became me. I tore down brick walls covered with thorns and razor sharp bar wire. I felt raw emotions for the first time without consequences. I discovered that feeling wasn't a sin. I kept going into the abyss of aloneness. It felt like home. I knew that I was more then "don't speak unless spoken to." I had to save her. I heard her cry all of my life. She never stopped crying. The little girl inside of me needed me. She was mourning for a loving mother she never had. Grieving to just belong. Aching to be wanted by absolutely anyone. She was never gonna get that. So I became her mom. I rocked her, I loved her, I disciplined her, I watched her grow. I taught her how to love herself. She learned she didn't need anyone she could do it all herself. Independence become her backbone. Pride replaced her shyness. Confidence overcame her anxiety. Courage concoured her fears. She was everything she ever needed n more. She was me. I am her. We were one. Whole finally. I was proud of her. I was proud of me. Finally complete. That was the year I sat alone with myself. I learned to love myself. I had to heal the child in me to become who I am, who I was meant to be. That was the best thing I ever did for myself. I had peace. I had joy. Contentment was something I finally understood. I was independent and happy. I was free.