Learning To Fly

This is a song I wrote for my mother when I moved to Arizona from Minnesota, and how hard it was for me to leave.

She packed her bags, and moved two thousand miles away.

All those tears she shed, the goodbyes so hard to say.

She used to see the trees all across the land.

She needed a change so she left it all for the desert sand.

 

She's made her choice, she's found her voice,

sets her fears aside, she's in for a ride,

bites her lip and wipes her eyes,

cause she's learning to fly.

 

Mama calls her up late at night,

wonders if her baby's alright.

With all those thoughts in her head,

and all those things never said.

 

But she knows..

 

She's made her choice, she's found her voice,

sets her fears aside, she's in for a ride,

bites her lip and wipes her eyes.

Cause she's learning to fly

 

And mama please don't cry, your baby's learning to fly.

Author's Note

please ignore grammar and punctuation errors the content is what matters.

Reviews

[Kasey Klein]

For beat, I'd more the first:

She's made her choice, she's found her voice,
sets her fears aside, she's in for a ride,
bites her lip and wipes her eyes,
cause she's learning to fly.

To the first stanza. It's frame the poem perfectly with the second occurrence.

I like the play of sounds in "She's made her choice, she's found her voice" choice/voice

Some fledge images, metaphors or similes would be nice, but this works.

I like the way you start out with 10+ beats per line, then drop, as if a image shrinking in the distance.

The "But she knows" leading into the stanza is a nice touch.

[Staci Brown]

kewl msg girl... and seems as though you've graduated flight school and been awarded your wings! :D

Faerie Blessings!

--faerie whisper (breaking the silence...)

[None]

I have always liked very much any song you have written. This poem has a song--feel to it, especially the ending. A sad subject that would make a great song. Well written!

[Dagger Jones]

laceyjane, you have soul gushing thru ye veins. That truly is the good gear. Another great poem that is 3/4 of the way to a smokin song.

[Misa]

hey.... like this, both the idea, the presentation, and the wordings. one line "in for a ride" strikes me as being kind of cliche'd, but the rest of it works quite well, and gets your message quite nicely.