The black in me

 

Tears fall,

Like crystal down my face

As I watch you take away the key.

Why can't you see?

I'm waiting for the gray to

Replace the black in me.

I'm trying to get better,

But who knew...

I never knew this would be so hard to let go.

What if I said I was okay again,

Will you ever believe in me again?

What's wrong with this picture?

I'm lying on the floor again,

Surrounded by all my knives.

And I'm saying I'm sorry

As you walk away.

And I promise

I'll try to be the best I can be,

But I'm still waiting

For gray to replace this black in me.

Crawl to the sink and wash down the blood,

Bandage my wrists and pour a flood

Of antiseptic over the gaping wounds,

That brings tears back to my eyes.

Throw the knives away,

Hand over my razors,

Promise I won't make myself bleed.

And I'll wait for gray to replace the black in me.

Can I replace the black in me?

It's so suffocating,

Growing bigger with every breath I breathe,

Every cut that bleeds.

It grows stronger with every song i sing.

....Every lie I let myself believe....

But I'm still gonna wait,

For gray to replace all the black in me..

Reviews

[flaneur]

"I'm waiting for the gray to / Replace the black in me."

Disarming and beautiful. The simplicity of the statement masks the complexity of emotions involved, yet gets right to the core of what I've felt so many times.

[KUFU]

WOW! A very frank and powerful write.

What I like about this poem is it's directness. You make no attempts to hide the fact that you are a would-be cutter. The work is also revealing in it's empathy for the cutter. YOU attempt to understand the cutter...this is a good thing...only by observing and very occasionally questioning the cutter can you resolve any issues you may have that would cause you to pen such a revealing poem.

This is a strong write...I will favorite this one.