Padz

I don’t want to have to

regret everything

I said to you

I meant everything

you were what I thought I knew

now I know better

now I know the truth

and it isn't you

what you tried to be

it was just pretend

to make me glad

when I was sad

when I was dying

when I thought you

loved me

but you were only lying

and when I thought I was flying

you let me fall

into the ground

and I know this has all

been done before

im not the only one

you used to improve your score

YOU’RE NOTHING BUT A F*****G W***E!

you loved to pay all these mind games like

you’re so sinless

and im the b***h

like you tried to get us all to believe

that the roles were in reverse

yeah right

and maybe the world is ending

cause' you’re about as innocent

as a goddamn hooker

your mind is perverse

your attention is pending

your eyes are demented

you’re unhinged and unrepentant

your lips are leering

and smirking

and you’re not hearing

how badly you hurt me and her

 

Reviews

[HoWiE]

Wow - talk about a blast! I sense that you're a little angry over this particular break-up. I thought this was pretty good, strong, to the point and straight from the heart. It's surprising what an array of feelings the loss of a relationship can conjour up. This was nicely done and I think you punctuated your point perfectly with your bold, capitalised and underlined: YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A F*****G W***E!
Powerful indeed, I hope that you are now over this and moving on to better things - thanks for entering my contest and good luck! HoWiE ;-)

[Pixie Dusted Leo]

Pardon me, the crammer in a poem doesn't necessarily need to be kept up. That's what makes it a personalized piece and represents the thoughts of the person writing the piece. This isn't a short story - it's a poem. I've written so many run-on sentences in pieces just because it conveys the aspect of my mind running away and off into uncontrollable tangents. I really like this piece, it portrays your vulnerability being overcome the anger which usually gets us HUMANS through reality and other nasty messes. I actually sent it to a very close friend to review as well. It is a replica of a few feelings I know she faces daily right at this juncture in her life. (Did ou like the use of my prepositional phrases there?) haha

Thanx for sharing this moment in your soon to be wonderful life!

[Catala]

other then the grammer being slightly... wrong (shouldn't it be Her and I in the last line?) i think it's fine how it is because of the form of the poem itself. I don't want to say i like this, because of the topic, but it was well written and the emotion carries itself through the words into my mind. Not sure what the story is, but all in all i can feel this piece. Well done.