Unspoken truth

Your words
Loud
Angry
I can tune them out but its not enough
There’s an acrid green smoke spewing from between your lips with every word
Its around me
curling
twisting
teasing
before enveloping
[my soul]
Furious
Evil
Painful
But whats worse
[your eyes]
penetrating and cold
spelling out the truth that even the smoke couldn’t convey…

“You’re a bad mother”

Reviews

[GTVile]

I like the power of the brokenness of the formwork of this piece. One suggestion that I would make, however, is maybe you could somehow put this piece with a picture. I'm not sure if you were going for a mind-screw, but there's a stark contrast between the broken portrayal of the emotions described and then the very linear drop down from start to finish. It seems counter-intuitive, at least to me. I know the methods of delivery are limited here, but a visual representation may help the impact. Anyhoo, I like it.

[Crowley]

This first and foremost makes me want to brush my teeth....lol. I love the vividness of the image and the truth portrayed trough point. Hopefully moms put in for a pizza after all this...damn. Nice work.