Rockbottom

Alas, I am the meek in a Godless world

And will, indeed, inherit the earth�"

That underneath someday I shall be buried.

I would I were the tragic prince of Danes,

That when I quoth: “No more,” I’d mean no more,

And thus be done with deliberation,

And to vapors transform the troublesome sea,

And cut short my five act’s traffic by three.

Reviews

[wordwarrior]

Great writing with that inner self reflection shining through. Thank you for sharing!

[Nestor Gonzalez]

hahahaha you know something funny happened i forgot i had read this already and for some reason this time i thought i would i were sounded appropiate would that i were
doesn't seem to have the same effect just goes to show you (that you shouldn't listen to me)

And to vapors transform the troublesome sea,
And cut short my five act’s traffic by three.

awesome hundredfold

[LadyRosaline]

This was inspired by Hamlet.

[Augustus]

This is so similar to some of my teenage poetry. I almost feel nostalgic reading this! :)
Depression draped in grandiose wishful thinking. You seem to give certain fine touches to your poems here and there, that keep the reader interested. Lines 2 and 3 exemplify that. I can see the iambic pentameter coming out here as well. I think that meter suits the subject matter handled here. It has been maintained perfectly in lines 4 and 5 but in other places. Overall, though I think this poem has been constructed much better than the one I reviewed the other day. It is more consistent and concise. Well done!

[LadyRosaline]

This was my third poem. I am learning as I go. It is actually funny..I began to write in verse as a simple exercise writing with Iam Pen...I started poetry about a year ago.

[Augustus]

Learning is an eternal process. I am evolving as a poet even now, fifteen years since I began writing poetry. You are talented and will definitely go a long way!

[LadyRosaline]

Perhaps..

[Augustus]

Certainly :)

[Chris]

"A Good Depression Is A Terrible Thing To Waste..."

[LadyRosaline]

:D..Clever

[Chris]

Real...

[Nestor Gonzalez]

"I would I were" that's the only part that throws it off for me aside from that awesomeness :],keep in mind i don't know crapdoodle about poetry so it lessens my comment it's like a primitive monkey correcting a college teacher haha

[LadyRosaline]

I would if I were..I probably need a dash or comma..thanks

[Augustus]

I think the correct phrase is "Would that I were...". That would go well with the rest of the archaic language in your poem.

[Nestor Gonzalez]

hey your awesome it just sounded weird to me but s**t i don't got no schmeducation so don't take it to heart :D

[LadyRosaline]

Actually it means I wish in Modern English.

Would that I were is implied..the word " that" is omitted. It is not always necessary to introduce non restrictive clauses with the word "that".

Hamlet
"Then I would you were so honest a man."
"And—would it were not so!—you are my mother."

[Augustus]

You are right, except that in the context of your poem, "Would that I were" has the same number of syllables and sounds less awkward than "I would I were" and is therefore a fitting replacement.

[LadyRosaline]

I will check it out..

[Faffy]

im starting to become quite a fan of your poetry as it is something i haven't seen in a while and i love how you go away from the conventional story poetry and make it more unique and more you. i love the quotes but most of all i love this work.

[LadyRosaline]

Thanks again..

[Julie Wolfe]

Enjoy the word flow and i love the quote quotes and how you used them

[LadyRosaline]

I appreciate your time and comments.