Rest

Stale boots tap as they abrade stepping stones

Etched with memories of those beneath;

Fatigued eyes scan the meadow counting roses,

Expecting results identical to counting sheep.

 

No longer can I endure the torture of the slenderest hand

Hovering above me with an eternal tick-tock;

Nor can I abide the grudging pupils of a faint madman

Scrutinizing me from glass as if he were a hawk.

 

Nonexistent thoughts bellow in my minds prison,

As I count off the seconds until I am released;

I desire nothing more nor less than to escape insomnia,

Reason being that I may finally rest in peace.

 

Author's Note

Not too satisfied with the ending. I may tweak that in the near future; in the meantime, enjoy.

Reviews

[Lost in Wonderland]

Very well done as usual:) the imagery in the first stanza made me feel as if I was walking through a cemetery. Don't know if that's what you meant but it gave me that mental picture. Your use of language is dark and elegant. The 2nd stanza was vuage and made me want to read in deeper to decipher the meanings. Another great poem:)

[Tai Ryens]

Indeed, that was what I intended. I thank you kindly for your kind reviews!

[Lost in Wonderland]

No problem:) you never cease to impress me

[Extant]

I feel like these verses are just bursting images and ideas. . . This withered old man with his antique pocket watch who stalks you in the night. I don't know if that was what you were going for but that is what I got. I like the ending, I think it concludes the poem well.

[Legolas]

Great job. The vocabulary is great. The idea of the poem is very well thought out.

[eeoopig]

This is a very descriptive piece and tells a good story. I think the endings fine, by the way. Good work :)

[♪The Girl Next Do..]

Excellently written, so much emotion. It left me wanting more. Great write

[Owlgirl]

This is amazing! I love the descriptions, like how there are 'stale boots' and 'grudging pupils'. The ending fits, it's a great ending! Well written and an awesome job!

[demureminds]

Amazing imagery and very well written. The piece flowed together very nicely as well.

[Rox Bain ☮]

Why aren't you satisfied with the ending??!!
The ending is amazing! I absoloutly love your writing style and the way you get your point across.

[Tai Ryens]

I feel that it was not as elegant as the rest of the poem. Thanks.

[Michael G.]

Ending sounds fine, Ryan. You brought it a satisfying conclusion, with a bit of surprise for the reader. No, I wasn't thinking insomnia either. It works.

[afra]

ending is not bad at all ....good job