Abuse

If your lover were to slit your throat, what would your last words be?

Lovely shades of purple stain my tattered skin:

ghosts of abuse linger over frightened shoulders;

releasing every ounce of negativity from within

through swung fists and catapulted boulders.

~

Who ever so much as knew that love is harrowing,

inflicting agony upon every one of my lovebird's caprices:

begging the bird caged in my heart to cease her harmonizing

while you quite literally rip its cage to pieces?

~

Across my throat honed blades slide viciously

as scarlet melodies beat louder in the heart of an introvert:

whilst choking on my blood you snickered at me

as I apologized for bleeding on your shirt.

Author's Note

Not sure if I should rewrite the second half of the poem; suggestions?
Photo courtesy of Meaghan-Monster on Deviant Art.

Reviews

[Summer D.]

Gruesome.
Ever so gruesome.
I think I should take away your pencil for writing this one. :)

It fit together quite well actually. I don't see any need for revision....
Amused. The ending was not quite what I was expecting.
I suppose if I were to be slain by my nonexistent lover; I'd apologize for not getting them first. //sarcasm.
That gives me an idea...

The inspiration behind this one has yet to be seen?
Care to elaborate?

[Tai Ryens]

I'm honestly not too sure of how this came to be . . . My assumption is that I was pondering over how much agony my past lover can inflict on me before I halt loving her (which at the moment is unsolved).

[Summer D.]

Time heals everything.

[Rob Santana]

what a trippy poem,awesome actually. I really like the first line "lovely shades of purple stain my tattered skin" killer choice of words right there.

[Extant]

No, the last half fits in well, unless there was a different image you wanted to portray.
There were little thing here and there that I liked, perhaps more than the whole, I haven't decided yet . . . Though the last line was great, I did laugh because I took it as a note of dark humour (which you do very well).
Hmm, my last word(s) might be very inappropriate . . . maybe even, "I never loved you anyway." That's the kind of thing I would say, hoping it might up set them. *Smile*

[Tai Ryens]

Hm, I agree with liking a certain aspect here and there better than the whole.

[Extant]

That sometimes happens, where there are thoughts that don't click together well, so writers will put in fluff . . . at least, that is something I do.

[demureminds]

Very menacing poem, but very well written, good job.

[A. V. Madison]

Gory, gruesome, and well written. I wouldn't change it at all. The intensity carries the writer to the final syllable. An extraordinary write. Bravo!

[Destructive Impulse]

Honestly when I read the last stanza it reminded me of taking back Sundays song your so last summer. "The truth is you could slit my throat
And with my one last gasping breath
I'd apologize for bleeding on your shirt"
Very good though. And buddy I can relate so if you ever need to talk im here for ya.

[Tai Ryens]

Really now? I should take a mental note to check out that song later.

[Destructive Impulse]

Yes sir.

[Baby Ricochet]

The last Stanza is typical of the violent metaphors that make one of Tai's poems a Tai poem. Kinda like Baby Ricochet and the F word. One of these days you should write something about unicorns sliding down rainbows into pots of gold just to mess with your fans. That would be funny as hell man.

[Tai Ryens]

You never cease to make me smile, Ricochet.

[Baby Ricochet]

Someones got to

[nigrum homonculus]

for some reason the ending made me chuckle. i think the poem is fine where it is now. excellent write tai. your imagination never ceases to amaze me

[Tai Ryens]

Really? All my imagination does is make me consider if I'm mentally disturbed or not.

[nigrum homonculus]

why? unless you practice some of the things you write about in your basement i wouldn't consider you mentally disturbed.

[Tai Ryens]

Who's to say I dare not perform these in my basement, but rather in my attic?

[nigrum homonculus]

and now i'm worried....