Nails

Dancing on nails~

Hurling darts towards adolescent maps;

starting quests that evaporate into thin air like steam:

ambitions fading to oblivion as a match

drifting among lifeless stars were his dreams.

{Skimming in darkness seemed as a coincidence;

for he refused to believe evil thrived in his soul:

little did he know the devil planned the incident;

scheming to swipe every bit of the plunder he stole}

Dragging along shells made every step even harder;

anchoring a guilty conscience to every stop in the paper trail:

squinting towards a finish that continuously gets farther;

only to glance down and see terrified faces in every nail.

Author's Note

Not sure if I pulled this off well . . . Let me know what you think?
Photo courtesy of neos86 on Deviant Art

Reviews

[C.A. Lucas]

You have such a good vocabulary :) I wish I had a mouth like you...

[Tai Ryens]

And you will, one day, so long as you strive for it with all your worth and pursue it.

[C.A. Lucas]

Thank you :)

[Baby Ricochet]

I like this one. The first Stanza's pretty f**k cool.

[Tree]

I think you pulled this off. So much, to consider here. And there's a
sadness to this journey, very palatable. I like the way you squeezed,
sandwiched between the two vivid scenes an explanation––––through
narration. Thought provoking Tai. Well written.

[Alm]

I'd say you did pull it off well. I feel I'm like being sucked into the poem, and feel the horror just as the character does. 'Tis awesome, Ryan.

-Alm

[.]

Great rhythm! I really liked it! 100/100 :)