At the Hands of I

as I unknowingly clutched my undoing . . .

Have I not pondered beneath death's rusted blade

tasting the sour malevolence of the crimson afterlife divine

as I sought for the bearer of the scythe in the bleary sketch portrayed

only to realize that the skeletal fingers clutching my undoing are mine

~

How is it that I've fallen by a weight that has never been mine to tote

plummeting into enticing puddles of black blending with a lovely scarlet

saved am I from the malice that had once tickled and strangled my throat

destined to boil in golden crops alike to the rest of the harvest

Author's Note

Photo courtesy of TheBoyOfCheese on Deviant Art.

Reviews

[Anne Timmins]

This is a beautifully penned interesting piece..

[Tai Ryens]

Thanks muchly!

[Baby Ricochet]

I read this like 5 times just to see what would happen. Now I need some Exedrin.
Heavy Tia Heavy, and I'm supposed to be the grown up here? Oh we're in trouble now. You should make a book out of some of your stuff and see about getting published. Being a teenager could be a good marketing angle. Your work is so distinctive and at times appears to be coming from someone much older than 14. It could work.

[Tai Ryens]

I do seek publishing for my poems; and in fact have been approached once for publishing by a minor individual seeking to publish unknown writers on Amazon. Unfortunately, he was unable to properly direct attention to me; as he was bound by Amazon rules and could not state me as the author: so I had to decline.

[Rhianne Ney]

I love the choice of words.. definitely be in my library

[Scytheriax]

The imagery is good; I rather like it.
The last line in the stanzas doesn't flow as well with the rest of the poem, though. Perhaps shorten them a tad and they'll fit a little better.

I love the fact that you're able to use sophisticated diction correctly and without it sounding overdone.

[Tai Ryens]

Thanks for your criticism; I shortened the last line in an attempt to allow it to smooth out the flow.

[Scytheriax]

No problem lol.
It flows a bit better now; well done.