Retribution

I am responsible for my own fall . . .

Doth I seek not the deliciously

sweet taste of revenge {?}

nay

but rather the retribution

of a heart

so long wrenched

the thousand injuries I

so barely endured

glisten

a maddening glimmer

morphed not of sorrow

but emotion far more impure

for I suffer an eternity's

wroth of agony

insanity

preparation of fury

of which I very soon

plan to set free

yet presently here I tower

over-encumbered not by glee but ruing

above your corpse

soulless alike to both you and I

for I have borne upon myself

the courtesy of my own undoing

Author's Note

New style, opinions?
Photo courtesy of gunnmgally of Deviant Art.

Reviews

[John]

Reading this poem is like watching a highly ornate sword being slowly removed from its scabbard and then held up so we can admire its sleek design and jewel encrusted handle, and at the same time being informed of its lethal possibilities.

The archaic idiom distances us from the speaker's feelings and yet we don't doubt that they are genuine. The question I ask myself is 'Why would a twenty first century poet want to mimic, I don't know… the Marquis de Sade? Has the contemporary language of emotion becomes so facile and anodyne that the writer needs to go back in time to find a vocabulary to express his thoughts and feelings?'

I should add that I enjoyed it immensely.

[Tai Ryens]

Indeed, that is my usual style of writing in most poems (which reminds me of the error in my author's note, I meant new poem structure, my apologies): to distance the reader and allow them to interpret on their own. Though I'm afraid I don't comprehend the question you state; care to elaborate?

[John]

No, I don't think I can make it any clearer.