Secretive

One too often I admired

sacred fluid held within spill out my vein

guilt

embedded by the very pincers

that once were before my command

yet now only a flailing limb gone insane

ah, how I long to wallow

in a pool of my own innards

cackling

held in my fingertips pride for reality

of which I still own control

over the organs held inwards

Author's Note

Photo courtesy of nocturnalMoTH on Deviant Art.

Reviews

[Extant]

Well . . . there's a lot to be said, but the most important thing, in my opinion, is that the second stanza out weights the first. Basically everything touched on in the last half is my cup of tea, absoluetely love it. However, the fisrt stanza gets off to a rocky start; nothing is poorly written as much as poorly organized. The first three lines of the first stanza almost seem distant from the rest of the poem, they touch on a completely different topic in my mind then the second satnza; which is self-harm to suicide. (I think.)

[Tai Ryens]

I intended for that to be the moment the action is done, though I see why it is possible to mistaken it for a different topic.

[That_Girl]

Wow... this is... really damn good. Will have to thank Baby R. for send me a RR. :) Nice!

[Tai Ryens]

I'll have to thank him as well. Thanks for the review.

[Baby Ricochet]

Oh yeah baby, this is a Tai poem. Love it!

[Tai Ryens]

I see you've spread a bit of recognition for this one; I thank you kindly.