Falling Petals, Poor Ol' Me

Is it a wonder we're all oh, so alone?

~ was it not appealing to be

            the falling petal on my lap?

     you rot away, deteriorate

            into the dusty mess of

   scattered ashes polluting my skin

  while i moan a lust for agony

     and copper to splatter my bleeding hips.

                                                                      i adored you still as you

                                                   blossomed into the rogue under my skin,

                                                        and still i wept contently.

            

                        help me, my lungs breathe no more,

                                     exhausted from inhaling you in,

                 and yet they long desperately for

       the breath of your lips,

                    despite the evidence

        that you suffocated me in the first place.

           death murmurs in my ears, as she does yours.

        and approaches my final plea,

            unneeded but not quite an addiction,

  as i breathed you in, greeted demise,

                    and cackled, for i am you.

Author's Note

Photo courtesy of A-l-a-s-s-e-a of Deviant Art.

Reviews

[lee von cleef]

the shadow frozen in the rock...

[Tai Ryens]

``A human being is only breath and shadow.`` ~ Sophocles

[SHEEMA HUQ]

A victim of war, of an atomic bomb, posited in a artful, idyllic setting, quite unique, oozes with pain and soothes the agony of the circumstances which you describe, I am pleased that I didn't cry on this occasion, I feel very removed, though only yesterday, memories of the footage of the Vietnam conflict came flooding back to me and I became very emotional indeed, thank for sharing this poem.

[Tai Ryens]

I like the concept you derived from this, quite unique. Thank you, I am flattered.

[Writer #00]

Hm... this is quite thought-provoking. I got a few meanings from this, I'll share the one I think is most far from what you intended:

Is this a sort of fable in regard to vanity and self-indulgence (the first part [before the break] being a description of intimacy between the narrator and the narrator; being able to "adore [itself] still" even as the narrator begins to crumble from within from a myriad of respective possibilities. The second part seemed to me (in this interpretation) the moral of the story (as in Narcissi (sp?)) that such behaviour only ends in lonely, self-annihilation and those who are so far gone in such a lifestyle will ignore the effects and the warnings it yields and simply accept fate with a grin.

Also: Love that you referred to Death as a female! I like to think of her as female, as well!

[Tai Ryens]

Thank you for your thoughts.

[Writer #00]

Thank you for your writing. : )

[Frieda P]

When we're addicted to someone it's hardly good for us, that's usually a one way street...but it happens so quickly we barely recognize we can hardly breathe without that other person. I love this one Tai.

[Tai Ryens]

Indeed. Thank you.

[Caradoc]

Quite a destructive relationship...this piece reminds me of "No Dream Can Heal A Broken Heart" by Sonata Arctica. Specifically, all the talk of poisoned kisses.

I must say, I am a fan of this. The narrator tells a tale of pain and want, desire for someone that is clearly not good for them, and they for their desire. This person, like a poison, slowly destroys the narrator and yet, they cannot bring themselves to do anything but long for more. Finally though, they are both undone, for each was the poison the other suffered from...

I'm impressed by you yet again.

-Caradoc

[Tai Ryens]

I am flattered, thank you, friend.

[Caradoc]

You're welcome.