Thaw

I watch the ice
As it grows from your
Shoulders
And wonder
If that's why I'm sunken and
Hollow
This pyre has long burned out
And so you count yourself
Absent
While I waste matches
Hoping to help you
Thaw

Reviews

[Lost, n'MT]

I can't stop reading, your poems are entrancing. This is just extremely DEEP and I feel each and every single line. FANTASTICALLY well done at channeling feelings and turning them into art that has the ability to truly touch others. I am completely baffled why you wrote "eh" in the description if that has to do with any discontent or dissatisfaction with how this turned out. I think this is a fantastic piece you should be proud of!

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much. I think I wrote "eh" because I wasn't fully satisfied with how this turned out and I walked away with the same feeling I had when started writing. Though it definitely conveyed how I felt, it didn't pull enough emotion out of me to be fully therapeutic.

[Lost, n'MT]

That makes more sense to me, and I can definitely understand and relate to that feeling. I am sorry it wasn't as therapeutic and didn't turn out to your personal liking, but I thoroughoughly enjoyed this one and would go as far to say as it's an easy top 10 favorite for me of your work, but probably even higher to be honest. It was all so much as once and so hard to rank and rate, but this was really hit me on an emotional level, and while the writing may not be as great as some of your others, I think it's definitely in the top tier for me personally, just based from the emotions conveyed. But from a writing perspective, I think your did a fantastic job writing and capturing so much in under 40 words. I feel as if dozens and dozens of collective thoughts, memories, and feelings after reading this piece for what has been probably over a handful of times now.

[pink elephant]

What a wonderful piece loved it

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, I appreciate it. Thank you for reading and leaving a review

[J3ssInJupit3r]

Oh my God. I am so glad you requested for me to read this because I will be honest, this is how I feel in my relationship right now. I am still holding on I am still "on fire" and in love and the significant other seems to have frozen over. I don't know if that is what you meant to convey when you wrote this, but that is what I felt when I read it. So I want to thank you for sharing this with me.

[LapseOfMind]

I'm glad that this poem could touch you. However I felt when I wrote it doesn't matter, what does matter is how you felt when you read it. If I was able to inspire any form of emotion then I've dine my job. Thank you for reading it, glad you enjoyed it.

[Coyote Poetry]

This is real poetry. You said everything in so few words.
"While I waste matches
Hoping to help you
Thaw"
I agree with the above lines. Something can never feel warmth. Thank you for sharing the outstanding poetry.
Coyote

[LapseOfMind]

Thank you very much, it helped a lot to write it

[Coyote Poetry]

You did very well with the poem and you are welcome.