COTTONTAIL RHYMES FOR EASTER

Sometimes people don't have the greatest relationship with their pets.

Momo was a chocolate bunny
I can’t eat him, but he looks quite funny.
With stray gray hairs and a missing eye
A chipped buck tooth, and always attracting flies

I don’t know why I loathe him so much
But I can’t send him back since I bought him and such.
I should have picked a snake, a spider, a snail
But I chose this guy because he was on sale.

He likes to hop and smush his food
He poops all over, I think it’s rude.
Maybe this rodent doesn’t fit my taste
But I already bought him so he can’t go to waste.

This insolent rabbit, today he chewed up my shoes
I hate this rodent; I hope he hates me too.
I hope he wishes for my death;
I’ll wish the same for him even in my last breath.

I should eat him for dinner, or feed him to a snake
But I already bought him, so now it’s too late.
And if I throw him outside I’ll be labeled as cruel
The same goes for if I drowned him in the old pool.

But then I remembered “Ah! I have the receipt!”
I had left it in a pile stacked up and neat.
Little did I know it was all chewed away
So I couldn’t give him back to the pet store today.

I was fed up with this, I couldn’t take anymore
but oh what do I do, since he can’t go back to the store?
To the place that sold me this wretched old beast
Who eats my belongings as though it’s a feast.

But then I thought, well he is a “chocolate bunny”
so today I ate him, and now he sits in my tummy.
He was seasoned so well with paprika and salt
The feet weren’t the greatest, but that was my fault

For I have never prepared a rabbit before
It was a learning experience but I’d like to try more
To have fresh blood and meat and crush the skull
But I’ll need new knives since mine are now dull.
New rodents to buy after I’m no longer full.

Author's Note

A bit of dark humor, apologies if you have a rabbit for a pet and this disturbs you in any way.

Reviews

[Addict With a Pen]

Wow! That last part came as a surprise to me, but dark humor can make things quite interesting. On the other hand I love how you created this typical rhyme by rhyme poem. The words and funny and the lines are fun to read. It sounds like you had some fun writing this, and I can't wait to see what else you've written. Very amusing how you apologize in your author's note haha. I can imagine a rabbit doing just those things in my head, and how I would feel. The twist at the end is what made me realize what kind of writer you are. Not the typical but more creative in the sense that you are willing to write what pops into your head along with creating plot twists that can be amusing to some and disturbing to others haha. But overall I liked this poem and want to see more!
Keep writing!

[ldscribe]

Thank you so much! This poem was definitely fun to write. I've reworked this piece multiple times and each time the rhyme scheme was one of the components I fought myself over, whether or not I should keep it or toss it since rhyming can often be viewed as "childish" or "unsophisticated." In the end I decided to keep it because I felt it went along really well with the dark humor I was trying to convey, so I'm also glad you were able to see that!

Hopefully I can write more pieces that are just as enjoyable as this one