Sheena-Get to me

A home-less girl talks about her thoughts. she's proboly about a freshman.

I dont know why i let them get to me, its not like they know what it feels like,
with no roof, no place to call home.
my Parents dont even have a car.they get rides home every day. home. It wouldnt have to be a house, an apartment would work, hell, a trailor would be alright. I feel especilly bad for Dannile, he's my little brother, i rember what it was like in grade school. he's in third-grade, i hated third grade. thats the grade when things start to change. the people start to understand what "home less" means. it means dirt poor. people have a tendincy to accociat home-less with, hobo, and hobo with dirty. im not dirty, neither is Dannile, or mom, or dad. The girls in my school are horrible, i havent ever done any thing to them,and they still attack. not physicly attack, of corse, its not even a "in my face" attack like they do to to "bigger" people. its much more sneaky, like a cat swipping its paw at a sparrow with out a nest. i wish i wasnt so helpless, you never know maybe someday they'll be surprised. maybe, someday, this little sparrow will find its nest.*****sorry if it sucked*_* message me to tell me if it did or not, please??*****

Author's Note

My first story, i hope you like! not all my stories will be so emo.

Reviews

[Summers Under The Old O..]

I think you have a good idea there, but it needs some work. Just things like run-on sentances, spelling, puncuation, that kind of thing. I think you have a good plot that can turn into a great story. It is also interesting because it adresses a problem that many teens try to forget if they do not see these things everyday. Keep on writing, I'd love to see how this turns out!

[Writer CW Kirkland]

The basis for the story is good, but it needs some refining. The grammar and formatting should be improved. For example, sentences should end with punctuation and begin with capitalization.