Hot Nine

another repost

Sitting cross legged on upturned bucket
Circled reinforcing cutting pattern in buttocks
Back sagged against rough barked old maple
Edges of soles twist socked feet in worn shoes

The shade combined with sudden breeze refreshes
Cooling the faded sweaty tie dye tee shirt
Holding the wet cold bottle dripping onto a bare knee
He squints toward the ever present cat pretending to ignore him

These are the long hot days of late Summer
The grass is high and green in places
flat and brown in others
Cloth has worn and torn from the backyard golf course poles
Putting is easier on the dried moss greens
Soon the vegetable garden will wither and dry
To reveal at least a dozen lost balls
The surrounding swamp is less forgiving
Ice cold water slides to cool his innards
The cat stretches to lick dusty fur
Pool sirens tauntingly beckon

Reviews

[An Ordinary Woman]

This reads like (dang, who is that artist that has his paintings on the back cover of Readers Digest?) it read like one of those, I can see, smell it and hear it. I can even feel the heat and sweat rolling down. Excellent writing! I love it.

[Sel Whiteley]

What evocative imagery! In this poem you've painted such a succinct and filmic picture of one of those lethargic late summer afternoons. You've also used really specific, domestic details which makes the poem even more graphic.

Sitting cross legged on upturned bucket
Circled reinforcing cutting pattern in buttocks
Back sagged against rough barked old maple
Edges of soles twist socked feet in worn shoes

The shade combined with sudden breeze refreshes
Cooling the faded sweaty tie dye tee shirt
Holding the wet cold bottle dripping onto a bare knee
He squints toward the ever present cat pretending to ignore him

There's a great rhythm to this too, in the short, concise lines.

[Tomás Ó C..]

A moment in time caught in verse and rhyme...

[SPINNING ON that dizzy ..]

I love the sound of this - I read it aloud twice and it just sails! Can almost hear the crisp leaves and that hint of fall that comes as the days become shorter and we think about a sweater or the things we need to do to close a summer place and prepare for the seasons to change. You truly captured it here..... This is going in my favorites - thanks for reposting it!

Kath

[Gandré]

OH my god, this is soo beautiful. How I love the innocence of your words and the innocence of your periods of finest development, happiness, summer pure just you and the universe! The wording, so classical, so wonderful, never the same, always new experience!

Cloth has worn and torn from the backyard golf course poles
Putting is easier on the dried moss greens
Soon the vegetable garden will wither and dry
To reveal at least a dozen lost balls ------------this is so great.. really, because you alway have this you are in the now, but u already think, what will be.. so now is summer but something looks like - there is transcience, so autumn is coming. so beautiful. i love that because I know your style / work... and I know what I ccan expect. always first class.


5 stars, my new favorite, dear friend Donald. say hello to our friend J. I need to call her.

[Nameless]

i really really like this poem, your writing is great, the manipulation of words is mind candy. my one suggestion, however, is that you take another look at the first 8 lines. they all follow the same pattern of wording, i'm not sure how to describe it exactly but the cadence or like, pattern of noun to verb or something is the same in those first 8 lines, and that's too many lines to have that repeat. the reader quickly feels bored. i would go back and get creative with how you present those lines. i know you can, you're an awesome writer

[Salvatore Buttaci]

You're my kind of poet! You handle imagery quite well and you keep these eyes of mine moving line to line with very well-placed word choices. Great!

Sal