How Long treading water

Neuro syntax thread mills beside constant streams of thought.
Slowed and constricted to reserves
for later turning churning production.
Rushing through narrowed sluices of tedious occupation,
to slow and build again before yet another challenge.
Ever do the myriad wheels and stones grind
thought flour of our daily bread and nightly dreams.
Listening to the falling waters tinkling over memories of yesterstones
and Calderstones and rain filled days of schooling
children swimming and drinking their fill
to weather the deserts and harsh wind plains of life.
Yet do we thirst for knowledge of others
riding this river or sailing the open armed ocean
adrift in the salt tears of so many who failed.
Waiting the winds of change in leather skinned boats of hope.
Drinking the daily rain.
Eating slow fat birds and willing whales.
While waiting for another try at life.
Another land to take from.
Two boats down a white haired druid
sips angel fish tea
dreaming of Wales.

Reviews

[Nameless]

wow. i love the way you manipulate the language in this poem, a sentence starts off as a cool image and then suddenly the image expands into this great metaphor. thought flour of our daily bread and nightly dreams- that is awesome. the last three lines are wonderful too. you really break out of all conventions here, it's great.

[Gandré]

Drinking the daily rain.
Eating slow fat birds and willing whales.
While waiting for another try at life. --------------------this was my favorite part of your poem. what a wonderful composition. all worked well. I thought so dreamy, from a far away land, it resolves itself into something quite simple in the mind what is nourishing! You are searching and observing _> in ping-pong, romantic and ironic...this was remarkable stetting of the life's most allluring moments. Loved the whales allegory. 5 stars, dear.