Dones

Awakened by Jill's Overs

Late fall, trees half dressed sway over glittering cast offs
The reach for charcoal and white waiting canvas
Pauses in now familiar hesitation
The moment shimmers alive
To dissipate in pink contrails
Of yet another unfulfilled sunset
Another thought train clatters into distance
Whence came this single tear
To well in unseeing eyes
Fingers hunt and peck in vain
to capture such a moment

Reviews

[Emily Rose]

I really like this idea of yours of the trees being "half-dressed;" it's a really creative way to personify them. I'm also intrigued (and impressed) that you didn't mention any of the traditional "fall" colors in this poem - pink, charcoal and white are mentioned, but no reds, oranges or golds. I think this is GREAT - way to challenge yourself! It's like an artist deciding to paint a springtime nature landscape without using the color green. (Of course, I don't know if you did this intentionally or not, but I'm going to give you credit for it anyway.) This is a wonderful snapshot of a memory and you paint the picture for us beautifully. Well done!

[Aspiring Angel]

This is so beautifully touching.

Blessings, Lesa

[Ed Hart]

i think J is being modest...i don't think anyone here skips over the lines she draws...but, that being said, this is a fine poem, and deserves five stars and spangled banners...ed

[J]

You pull at my heart, and I don't know why I am still so surprised. Your poetic hand crosses chasms, darlin. This is so much better than mine.