The gaze

Did I see my own sky today for sure

Was the silver and golden lines so bright

Why my heart's eyes gazed in reciprocal view

Why the black clouds only lingered in my gaze

Reviews

[Claire in VA]

The juxtaposition of light and dark here evoke
profound thoughts this evening as I read.
It's best that we lean towards the light.
Even though I am not on this site very often,
I think that I can identify your work even
if it's not signed. Your words have a distinctively
YOU voice. Please continue writing.
Fondly, Claire

[Linda alexander]

Thanks a lot for the review, well said and so true, take care

[m.s.early]

How beautiful and sad at the same time Linda. You do a wonderful job at creating this emotion in eloquent yet few lines. Your identifiable voice is very evident in this one. It has your signature all over it :)

[Linda alexander]

Thanks a lot for the review and the kind words, really glad to be among you all

[Sami Khalil]

Those colors can reflect our lives and moods. A wonderful, short poem...:)................

[Linda alexander]

Thanks a lot mississippe for the review, take care

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure. Any time...:)........................

[00000000000000000000000..]

I guess at times we tend to gaze before the dark in a bad when the bright is always their:) Awesome words my dear friend:)))))))))))))))))))))

[Linda alexander]

I was in the car with my dearest husband and our son and his friends, I was not driving, the sky on one side looked dull with gray clouds, on the other side the clouds had golden bright streaks, I added silver tinge to it, just simply thought under the one sky in which different ways the people are handling or leading their lives all over the world, it made me humble that I have granted so much for free, and I simply believed I am capable of looking my gaze to brighter side,
the background music you put for one of your writing was in the radio too, thank you so much

[0000000000000000000000000000]

Ahhhh awesomeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ohh must had been a good 1 who was it? your very welcome:)))))))))))))))))

[Stephen]

~~~ Very beautiful poem ~~~ It`s a very good write to get relaxed throughout the day. I love the theme you came up with .. and yeah .. I got that you still learning and I believe, this cafe`s site`s a blessing to each and everyone who loves literature. Here sharing thoughts, stuffs, new ideas ... making conversations about writing is all what helping each of us in ~~~ for flourishing the skills. I`ve tried to make you help out .. your this poem could be well written in this way too ... have a look below :-

"Did I see my own sky this day forsure?
Were the golden & silver lines bright?
Why I kept the gaze of my heart in some directions to endure?
The darkness of life ...
Why these black clouds were in the gaze ...lingered on my eyes?"

I hope you love this one too. All the very best for your upcoming stuffs and I think, you`re already very good at writing.

[Linda alexander]

Thanks a lot for the review and the beautiful poem, really liked the way you recreated it, take care

[jacob erin-cilberto]

my sky is as dark as my heart...i don't want to see the brightness, i want to dwell in my sorrow...

the speaker seems to feel she does not deserve the blue sky...

[Linda alexander]

Thanks a lot for the review, yes kept the eyes towards black clouds all this time, today changed my gaze towards brighter side, the gaze alone made an impact, regretted for looking at black clouds for ever in the past, no more wants to see black clouds, feeling of deserving or not is no more a question, claiming my own bright sky is the goal, today when I looked only concentrated on the bright lines of the cloud, take care