Light in the Darkness

"And God said, "Let there be light."

“God said, ‘Let there be light;’

and I was born.”

 

I have said this for years,

not really thinking much about it,

certainly not thinking of myself as a light,

but saying it because

a sense of humor

has gotten me through some of the

toughest times in life.

Fake it until you make it.

 

When love becomes hate

and a mother becomes a monster

and a father burns the bridge too far,

collapsing under the weight of infidelity,

light naturally slips through the cracks,

at least that’s what Rumi says.

 

The family tree was burned and scarred,

branches scattered here and there

with no clasping in between.

Truth was choked out and hidden

behind walls of obfuscation

like ivy consuming an abandoned home.

 

Flowers grew through cracked pavement

reaching for the light,

often trampled under the weight

of heavy souls without direction

but soles steadily moving,

looking to hide behind

the jagged edges

of a mirror without reflection.

 

But I really was that light

in the darkness.

 

My mother used to be a light,

snuffed out by hands of abuse.

She never learned to shine again.

 

A son was born

and given away,

a whisper ~ ~ ~

Michael Christopher.

 

A second spark was lit -

vanquished,

stilled,

quiet -

a miscarriage,

a curse or a blessing.

You decide.

 

My father used to be a light,

vanquished by parents lost too soon

and a feeling of being unloved.

He never learned to shine again,

a rebel.

 

Both of them found each other

in the darkness

hoping for the light,

but neither stood a chance.

 

And I was born.

 

My sister was born.

 

My mother fell into the arms

of my father’s best friend.

They both fell into a bed of contrition,

and my father witnessed the fall

of ashes around him,

the ruin of his marriage.

Everything burned to the ground.

 

At twenty-three, he left,

immersed himself with night,

drove himself into the oblivion

of a tall tree,

the impact

snapping his neck.

 

My mother continued to lay

in the bed she had made.

 

A third daughter was born.

 

With each new soul,

the light seeped through.

The darkness hovered round.

 

I can’t speak for the other two,

but the darkness almost drowned me out.

 

I was a portal to promise,

light shining through the keyhole

of a dark door slammed shut

against the sight of a brighter tomorrow.

 

I shined,

determined to turn away from the dark.

 

I shine,

despite the cracks and flaws.

 

One day,

my light will burst through the cracks

completely.

 

My wings will press downward

and backward,

and I will soar higher and higher

until I burst through

the clouds

into the bright light of heaven

from which I came,

to which I will return.

 

“God said, ‘Let there be light,’

and I was born.”

Author's Note

Reviews

[Chrissie Muldoon]

Holy sh*t. Wow.

... I mean.... just wow.

I don't know if this is a fiction or a personal testimony (I don't need to know either way), but it really is such a glorious tale of suffering and familial trauma, yet trying to be more than what that trauma dictates.
I do find an immense beauty in people being truthful and vulnerable in their suffering, but also doing their best to be the final link in the chain of brokenness. From where I stand, it isnt the well packaged, 'sunshine and cornflakes' hope that is often given to us by Hollywood and well-being influencers... it's real, vulnerable, human endeavor to strive, fail, try harder, fail harder, but getting up every damn time because you know that you will not be defined by this, you will not be beaten.
As the singer Bruce Coburn says, 'kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight...'

Honestly, this is just fantastic. Thank you so much for gifting this to the world xo

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Chrissie for such a meaningful and thoughtful review. I have not visited the Cafe in a long while so just read your review. I am humbled. This poem is woven from the truth that is my life, and I am glad that it touched you. Thank you so much.

[Ayesha Faiz]

This poem is really beautiful. You wrote about pain, family struggles, and loss in such an honest way, but also showed hope and strength. The image of light breaking through darkness makes it very moving and inspiring. It feels personal and deep, yet anyone can connect to it. The ending is especially beautiful, showing that even after everything, your light keeps shining. Loved it.
Thanks for sharing this poem.

[Sami Khalil]

This was intense and powerful; I admire your truthfulness and your frankness. I feel the turmoil and the pain.
Please, never let that light get extinguished.
An amazing poem.

[emmajoygreen]

Thinking of you.. this time of year and all those other years when we stood on our separate continents apart and yet - held hands. Tears fell and we didn't care.. because, we could.

Strange that I found your words.. not for the first time but - unexpectedly . Or who knows, we were meant to share memories. Remember those happy sand walks and grass rollings - my bare feet still tickle! Your writing is still tragically everything superb.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

You are forever such a beautiful soul, always have been, always will be, a fragrant flower that lingers through the ages. I hope that you are doing well and that life is treating you with love and kindness.

[emmajoygreen]

All's as well as can be seen and felt for most of the time, dear friend. Wishing you the same or better if possible! How wonderful to read YOUR words, thank you. Sending a gentle and genuine smile.. but verging on a grin!

[John the Baptist]

The deluge of misfortune the speaker describes makes one wonder how any light at all survived. The last four verses testify that it did, though, and will continue. What appears to be a pit can often become a ladder with patience and determination.

[Patricia Wedel]

dearest Linda Marie... a Portrait well painted. In our golden years, we share reflections... even to people passing by. I think of a Steeple with a Chime that whispers through the clouds. Poets paint feelings and share healings.... lost in the Art of words. I bid you Adieu.... my friend... Peace and Love... softly, Pat

[Ken Simm.]

Yes you are a light despite all the above or can I say because of all the above. Beautiful.
Just to repeat myself.

[DIVYA]

We have such deep reasons for being what we are and the reasons are our families. They shape us and our destinies and there echoes never stop ringing within us. A beautiful poem with such an apt title.