Light in the Darkness

"And God said, "Let there be light."

“God said, ‘Let there be light;’

and I was born.”

 

I have said this for years,

not really thinking much about it,

certainly not thinking of myself as a light,

but saying it because

a sense of humor

has gotten me through some of the

toughest times in life.

Fake it until you make it.

 

When love becomes hate

and a mother becomes a monster

and a father burns the bridge too far,

collapsing under the weight of infidelity,

light naturally slips through the cracks,

at least that’s what Rumi says.

 

The family tree was burned and scarred,

branches scattered here and there

with no clasping in between.

Truth was choked out and hidden

behind walls of obfuscation

like ivy consuming an abandoned home.

 

Flowers grew through cracked pavement

reaching for the light,

often trampled under the weight

of heavy souls without direction

but soles steadily moving,

looking to hide behind

the jagged edges

of a mirror without reflection.

 

But I really was that light

in the darkness.

 

My mother used to be a light,

snuffed out by hands of abuse.

She never learned to shine again.

 

A son was born

and given away,

a whisper ~ ~ ~

Michael Christopher.

 

A second spark was lit -

vanquished,

stilled,

quiet -

a miscarriage,

a curse or a blessing.

You decide.

 

My father used to be a light,

vanquished by parents lost too soon

and a feeling of being unloved.

He never learned to shine again,

a rebel.

 

Both of them found each other

in the darkness

hoping for the light,

but neither stood a chance.

 

And I was born.

 

My sister was born.

 

My mother fell into the arms

of my father’s best friend.

They both fell into a bed of contrition,

and my father witnessed the fall

of ashes around him,

the ruin of his marriage.

Everything burned to the ground.

 

At twenty-three, he left,

immersed himself with night,

drove himself into the oblivion

of a tall tree,

the impact

snapping his neck.

 

My mother continued to lay

in the bed she had made.

 

A third daughter was born.

 

With each new soul,

the light seeped through.

The darkness hovered round.

 

I can’t speak for the other two,

but the darkness almost drowned me out.

 

I was a portal to promise,

light shining through the keyhole

of a dark door slammed shut

against the sight of a brighter tomorrow.

 

I shined,

determined to turn away from the dark.

 

I shine,

despite the cracks and flaws.

 

One day,

my light will burst through the cracks

completely.

 

My wings will press downward

and backward,

and I will soar higher and higher

until I burst through

the clouds

into the bright light of heaven

from which I came,

to which I will return.

 

“God said, ‘Let there be light,’

and I was born.”

Author's Note

Reviews

[Chrissie Muldoon]

Holy sh*t. Wow.

... I mean.... just wow.

I don't know if this is a fiction or a personal testimony (I don't need to know either way), but it really is such a glorious tale of suffering and familial trauma, yet trying to be more than what that trauma dictates.
I do find an immense beauty in people being truthful and vulnerable in their suffering, but also doing their best to be the final link in the chain of brokenness. From where I stand, it isnt the well packaged, 'sunshine and cornflakes' hope that is often given to us by Hollywood and well-being influencers... it's real, vulnerable, human endeavor to strive, fail, try harder, fail harder, but getting up every damn time because you know that you will not be defined by this, you will not be beaten.
As the singer Bruce Coburn says, 'kick at the darkness till it bleeds daylight...'

Honestly, this is just fantastic. Thank you so much for gifting this to the world xo

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Chrissie for such a meaningful and thoughtful review. I have not visited the Cafe in a long while so just read your review. I am humbled. This poem is woven from the truth that is my life, and I am glad that it touched you. Thank you so much.

[Betty Hermelee]

Very somber music indeed that fits this poem to a tee…..such tragic circumstances surround….such honesty appears, such darkness falls, but some light between the cracks…. I can relate a bit to this horrible situation as I represent neglected and abused children in court whose parents are homeless, drug addicts, etc…. At the moment I have seven kids all under 15 who are separated in foster homes and mother and father live in a tent ….. in your very poignant poem, there is some light through all the sorrow…. And you can reach for that light and do reach…so there is some hope for you…. I read this three times and almost cried….. it is beautiful even through the cracks……warmly, B

[Arundass TP]

Beautiful way you expressed. Really excellent.

[William Michael Reeves]

Wow! That was powerful. Maybe in the write you become the light. Shedding the dark memories by sharing them in our light. A child may have to know darkness to find the light. I hope you shine on, despite living in your parent's plight.

[FGFRANKLIN]

Emerson wrote "There is a crack in everything God has made" and Leonard Cohen added, "That's how the light gets in" The world is full of shadows and darkness and we need that light inside. So like fireflies on a summer night, once we see each other we recognize a kindred spirit; a fellow light in a darkened world. I enjoyed the read. F.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

What a lovely and insightful review. I couldn't agree with you more. Thank you.

[FGFRANKLIN]

You're very welcome. Thank you for sharing your work. It stirs empathy in the reader and touches inner tenderness. It was a pleasure to read.

[Rick Puetter]

Well, this was quite the piece, wasn't it. Willweb summarized the exact thought I had when reading this, i.e., a "brave offering". Writings such as this don't easily flow out. They slowly purculate up through the soul for many long years then burst through the surface in an immense release inner conflict and emotion. The result is a powerful write.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Rick. For years, I have been saying, "God said, 'Let there be light, and I was born.'" It was humor on my part, but I honestly never thought too seriously about the statement. This poem was prompted by taking the time to sit with what I'd been saying, to elaborate on it. Thus, the poem. It is just my way of expressing my journey. Thank you for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it.

[Rick Puetter]

You are most welcome.

[willweb]

What an amazing and brave offering you have penned and left out for all to see. Life is not easy, though I am sure some lives are easier than others, most of the time life is something hard to grasp and completely understand. Though, and it is only my opinion, this light that we are shines brightest when it is illuminating another and my friend, your is the brightest of all. Love you poem and your friendship. You are very special and I am bathed in the light of knowing you.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you so much. Yes, we can be a light to others and should be when we have dimmed only to shine again. Sharing that light can lift someone out of the darkness.

[Ken Simm.]

Such a wonderfully written and intelligently presented write. Of looking for love and as in life only rarely finding it. Full of stupendous lines all saying, perhaps here.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Ken. I always love seeing you.

[Weeping willow]

Such a beautifully expressed piece, I really love the flow of the story ;-}That being said I felt you're words so much in my heart as life can sometimes dim one's light.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

There is an ebb and flow to life for us all. We choose to bend or break.

[Jaffer]

You have a very amazing inner power some ppl might never recover from such tragedy. Well written.

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you for reading and responded, Jaffer. I appreciate the visit.

[Chris Shaw]

Your journey has been troubled. So much darkness and yet your strength is evident in this writing. You continually search for that chink of light. You show determination and resilience. You are like the flower that appears in the cracked pavement. I am always moved by your poetry Linda. Thank you for sharing.

Chris

[Linda Marie Van Tassell]

Thank you, Chris. Life is full of shadow and light. If we stand in front of the light, the shadows fall behind us. That's what I aim for.