saturn

our sins

when the method is perfect

the madness is flawless

the water flows freely

it carves out of stone

the definition of life

the beginning of death

around again

and again

wet water cuts through stone

when the method is perfect

this madness is flawless

like a river across a landscape

unforeseen

reality shapes the mind

from a purpose

we now need

around madness

we take hold

we find our sanity

flowing round 

it comes back again
around 

like Saturn again

a meaningless orbit

collecting

into something more

a reason

we might perfect

Author's Note

sail the waters, pollinate the flowers... i don't need to make sense otherwise

Reviews

[---]

Bangers David, these last two - a step above what I've usually seen you put out.

The comments too, are a fun read (besides the background harpy noises) - I feel like we're seeing a side of you we don't often get to see. It's nice, so is the work.

Kudos man - thanks for sharing.

- Ook

PS. saw what set her off, you weren't out of line at all. Just bob and weave that s**t, cooler heads prevail.

[Davidgeo]

Thanks ook.

It's good to show the good side, I'll try and do that more often.

[---]

Or to, you know, keep a cool head before you fall into an old and somewhat self destructive pattern.

No disrespect intended.

I don't think it helped. But good luck anyways.

[Davidgeo]

I know what you are getting at. You are a fountain of good advice for people like me.

[---]

Incorrect dude.

[Davidgeo]

You son of a b***h. I'll see you at the party richter.

[Neha agrawal]

I never imagined a planet could be part of a poem like that but you used it beautifully.

[Davidgeo]

all poems are part of a planet... I think probably?

[Neha agrawal]

Yes true😊

[jacob erin-cilberto]

No matter how sound the method or unsound the madness, the water of life will keep flowing freely and we will be caught in the current being subjects to the twists and turns.
j.

[Gregoria Ahmed]

Your poem flows like a ritual,where chaos isn’t feared but sculpted. I especially felt the line “wet water cuts through stone”,so quietly profound. It’s rare to find verse that captures madness with such clarity and grace. There’s a kind of cosmic surrender in your repetition, and the orbit imagery makes it feel both futile and deeply human. Thank you for this beautifully haunting meditation.

[Davidgeo]

It's not so bad to feel like it's futile... that type of discontent is what defines us as humans. We might not like it, but, we only "like" it because at first we really, really did not like "it".

[Davidgeo]

Thank for that review by the way, it's a good critique... you are a clever human.

[Gregoria Ahmed]

You nailed it!, there's something oddly comforting about that discontent. The idea that we "only like it because we first really didn't" makes me think of growth through resistance, or how pain eventually carves out understanding. Your words stretch the orbit further and I'm still floating with them.

[Davidgeo]

Everything hurts, pain is relative... be as nice as you can while you can. Float on my dear. (there is a song named "float on" by a band called Modest Mouse I think you should get into)

[Davidgeo]

www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTAud5O7Qqk

[Gregoria Ahmed]

That hit deep, pairing it with Float On was perfect. That song’s optimism wrapped in weirdness is exactly the kind of reminder I needed. Thank you for the kindness, the music, and the philosophy. I’ll keep floating.

[Davidgeo]

This place, it's brutal but, it's floatable. The rot does not yet outweigh the bliss. And there is always the chance it never will

[Davidgeo]

Thanks for being kind to me with your reviews. I appreciate you.

[Gregoria Ahmed]

You have a beautiful way of holding two truths at once, the harshness and the light. “The rot does not yet outweigh the bliss” is going to stay with me. That kind of honesty wrapped in hope is rare. Thank you for creating space for reflection and connection here… it matters. I appreciate you too.

[Davidgeo]

Always be suspicious of me. I do not deserve trust of any kind. You will like my writing better that way.

[Gregoria Ahmed]

If suspicion sharpens the eye, then maybe your writing deserves readers who squint a little and end up seeing more. But trust or not, the work still holds. It’s complex, candid, strangely beautiful, and I’d like it even if you were a replicant, a statue, or just a voice in orbit. Thanks for the art.

[Davidgeo]

We do indeed need sound in this orbit... everyone of us. Real or imagined, this place is insane. i just hope we don't all devolve into the wrong kind of shouting in the end.

[Gregoria Ahmed]

Ha, agreed! this orbit definitely has its moments. But when people keep showing up with real thoughts, good intentions, and a bit of sound, it helps keep everything grounded. I’m glad we’ve got voices like yours around. It makes the chaos feel a little more worth navigating.

[Davidgeo]

Be careful. The voices know what you want to hear.

[Davidgeo]

(and thank you for not considering me a villain!!)
I do appreciate that.

[Gregoria Ahmed]

The voices might know, but I try to listen between the lines. And villain? Nah. You write with nuance and honesty, that earns reflection, not fear. Glad we can share the orbit without masks.