The Wave

I want your thoughts on this one :)

The Door, is wide, open and lock

This time, time is turning against me

I feel the heat of sun's heart

I feel like sometimes we speak in a different language

I feel sometimes like I'm dancing in my head

My mind, is flying through the air

The wise will say to stay put on the ground

I feel the air blowing out

I feel the new air coming in

The door is wide, open and lock

The exit, is right this way, please

I feel they speak, in foreign languages

I feel they waste what could they become

Move forward like you know how to do it

They will tell you how to do it

Don't even dare to listen how to move forward

They will strike behind you and steal what you work for

The thoughts are back, I'm welcome back to town

Sometimes I feel like its all different

Sometimes I feel like I'm never at home

I feel the need of changing back to me

I feel the need of changing the wave

That brought me, back to me

I feel like it's all in my head

It's all in my head

It's all in my head

It's all in my he.a.....

(You Finally woke up! we've here in the hospital for days, praying every night that you would come back to us my love, your father and I have been very worried about you)

(No no, don't need to stand up, you just stay there laying on your bed and in a few days you'll be good to go! here I'll turn on the T.V )

Author's Note

So what do you think of this one?

Reviews

[closed]

You used one of my favorite literary techniques for this piece
The dream sequence can be interesting to play with, as you can do a lot of different things with it

This was a poem with a surprise twist and one that even provided a nameless protagonist
Which lent the work an element of prose

The reader is taken along an unconscious journey of self discovery
There is the longing to reinvent the soul and rediscover the very meaning to life itself

In the end the work ends up being existential
But those kinds of writings tend to be some of the most fascinating



-Dream

[Lizardo]

Thank you Dream, I really am glad that you liked this one, thank you :)

[closed]

no problem at all
thanks for sharing it my friend

[Creator]

This is amazing. Though it seems as if the poem was written with the intention to make the reader think, and figure out the meaning for himself, but the ending revealed all. It is about someone, who was dreaming, while he or she was in a coma, the ending makes it clear, when the person wakes up, with his or her family around him or her, waiting, hoping, praying, and the miracle happens! Great job. :)

[Lizardo]

You got it! thank you for reading and reviwing :)

[Creator]

No problem :) I will read more soon. :) As for now, I am off to read more from Danny.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Yup...i got it wrong...as usual. Sorry.

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Umm... The poem is nicely done. The end makes me think that its about someone who attempted suicide, OR somehow got injured, and ended up in the hospital...possibly shut down for awhile...then waking up. Right? but i'm probably wrong, so do tell me.

[Lizardo]

Nah you got it right, I wanted to end this one with something unusual, like he was dreaming in a coma

[Dani The Unreviewed]

Well, it worked :) nice job. :)