Confused BoyXBoy

(Unedited)

Chapter 1

Screams were all I could hear at the moment.Then, suddenly a gun fired. The screams began to get lounder. Fear began to overcome me. Then everything became quiet I opened my bathroom door and looked around my room. Everything looked normal, so I walked to the door and walked out into the hallway. There was no one in the house- only me! My parent just disappeared into thin air! Then the door suddenly slammed open. A tall man with long brown hair, black eyes, and a black coat with black skinny jeans was just standing there. "Your parents aren't coming back'' He said before disappearin leaving black smoke. " What the heck is going on?" I asked myself.

Author's Note

I am pretty young *coughs* 12 and so I want you adults or teens to correct my grammer or spelling.....:3

Reviews

[Diana Dion 3]

Not a terrible start. A few grammatical errors. For example: "disappearin" spelled wrong. Also, use a comma when ending a quote.
Try to limit your use of exclamation points, too. If you're writing is exciting enough, you won't even need them, haha.

[Cynthia]

Thanks for correcting me and reviewing my story!^^