Our History's Song

Once was a time
What a time it was
The Native Tribes ruled
And lived for their cause
Then came a few
With crooked dirty hands
Who pushed them away
And robbed them of land
The land is still there
Those who fought for it gone
Lingering in the memory
Of our history's song

Once was a time
Didn't seem all that long
Homes were built on the graves
Of tribes once so strong
People lived there like nothing
Would take what was true
Then the government came
And ruined them too
The land is all there
Those who lost it long gone
Lingering in the memory
Of our history's song

Once was a time
When goodness was lacked
Others built from this land
On a slave's tired back
Then slaves they were free
Some masters went broke
The leaders they trusted
For them never spoke
The land is still there
Slave and master long gone
Lingering in the memory
Of our history's song

Once was a time
Doesn't seem long ago
A black man built his home
On these memories of old
Did he know of the history there
Sadly we'll never see
Sheeted cowards appeared
And hung him to a tree
The land is still there
Those who stained it long gone
Lingering in the memory
Of our history's song

Once was a time
A time nearer to most
Family homes in the cities built
Underneath all these ghost
The homes begot aging
Then thieves, drugs, and dust
Til the cities ignored them
And let them all rust
The land is still there
The families long gone
Lingering in the memory
Of our history's song

Once was a time
And that time is now
Land changes hands
And you can't even ask how
You still can't trust leaders
To save you from floods
And they still make their money
Off yours and my blood
This land is still there
I can't answer how long
Soon I'll be just a memory
Of our history's song

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

If you don't mind a suggestion, I'd advise to go though your poem and remove any line that reaches a conclusion or offers a judgement and then check how it then reads. For example:
Then came a few
With crooked dirty hands
Who pushed them away

becomes
Then came a few
Who pushed them away

Winston
I've found it comes across better if I lead with details to a conclusion I leave to the reader rather than stating how I feel about it. (something I constantly battle iis being didactic).

[Brandon Houser]

Appreciate the feedback. I like what you have to say, and I will look at that line again because you are right. It works better to leave it the reader

[W. Barrett Munn]

I battle that in my own writing all the time. Gets back to basics - show, don't tell.

W

[Chris Shaw]

Powerfully penned. We are a dust mote in the overall picture, our lives are fleeting but the land remains and can change hands in the course of history. Archaeologists are still unearthing the secrets of centuries ago. We are still learning. The refrain works well Brandon. Adds emphasis.

Chris

[Curly Grace]

The way you let the land hold memory is powerful. The refrain lands with such quiet force, the land holding what people tried to bury.