Window

Just something about looking out a window and jumping. Also saying something about what the corporate world does to us.

Staring out the window

A gently falling rain

Streaking down the glass

Landing on the pane

Staring out the window

Observing nature's laws

Wind rushes through the trees 

Creating an applause

A reflection in the window

A tired corporate pawn

Skin sags upon his face

Past his days of brawn

A glance around the office

Searching for a friend

All remain at their desk

Not a single hand to lend.

"An audience of none" he thinks

So toward the edge he creeps

Losing faith in all he knows

Finds salvation in the leap

Reviews

[Gray]

This is a really moving piece of poetry. The world weighs on our shoulders and the stress is enough to send some over the edge.

[anxia]

This is beautiful:
'Wind rustles the trees
Creating an applause'.
Nice rhyming through out.

[popourii]

I just loved that last bit
"Losing faith in all he knows
Finds salvation in the leap"

This piece made me feel so calm and just peaceful.
Well done.

[Stan]

This is the kind of poem I like. It tells a story in verse; one I can understand. Simple, serene, arty.

[Jane Smith]

This is beautifully written. You're words flow effortlessly creating a sad tale that leaves bitter sweet emotions lingering. I loved it! I look forward to reading more from you. : )

[Quill~]

Wow, your thoughts are intriguing. I felt a time-bomb ticking, and the loneliness in losing yourself in the thought of jumping out the window, to be free of all the stresses in life and work. This is well written and took me to that moment. Nicely done!

[Brian]

Thank you so much!!

[Quill~]

:) Well done!

[Alicia Beavis]

The second stanza last line of the second stanza is such a beautiful line, in fact that whole stanza is just perfect.

I enjoyed this whole piece. The flow of the piece was consistent and the really built up to the ending nicely. Speaking of which, it's like a slap across the face (in a good way). It really hits you and makes you think.

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. Everything works well together and like I said, that second stanza was just magic. Very nice.

[Brian]

Thank you so much! That was actually my least favorite stanza while writing this. I'm really glad you like it :)

[Ency Bearis]

A wonderful thoughts while looking from the window
great piece.

[s y e]

This is a very touching, emotional write. I am actually at loss for words, it's a great how you've written and the atmosphere was tense, had me shouting and my iPad screaming no, haha. Anyway, great job on this one too! :)

[Brian]

Thank you :) I really appreciate your reviews!

[s y e]

Anytime! :-)

[Sami Khalil]

A good write and read...Thank you for sharing...:)