Underneath Those Secrets

A rhyming effort without a specific or classic form. Intended to be thoughtful and to inspire a touches of anger and remorse

There are secrets behind your eyes 
and underneath those secrets lies.
I fear to bring them to the light, would rather hide them for the night.

Lying together side-by-side,
passion's touch a growing tide,
I'd rather believe your voice than have to make a lasting choice.

We've been together for a year,
but I feel the ending's near.
Too many things refuse to add or add to a result that's only bad.

What is the fault, the fatal flaw,
that leaves us to rub each other raw?
Why has love become but toil when once it made our blood to boil?

Simple answer: "no regrets"
You can keep your hateful secrets.
What we had was all for good and we loved each other while we could.

Goodbye.
 

Reviews

[Star Shyne]

Wonderful piece. Loved it, and very easy to understand. Great rhyme and rhythm.

[cest la vie]

"What is the fault, the fatal flaw,
that leaves us to rub each other raw?
Why has love become but toil when once it made our blood to boil? "

With a verse like this thrown in the mix, one knows a true writer is at the pen. This is a raw, full-of-pain write. The knowledge that the releasing is near. Excellent piece.
Lynne

[LJW]

With few exceptions, I abhor rhyming poetry. I abhor a bit more rhyming poetry about love, either love gone right or love gone wrong. The form doesn't seem to fit the subject matter.


Your piece here stops short of being sing-song. It fits without being overly intrusive. The message transcends the form.

Nice work.

[Justice]

This was really good not like those poems that go on ranting and you don't know what they're saying. I fully understood it and it was great!!